The First Series
First
By : Lady Sirona lsirona@pacbell.net,
Rated NC17 [Buffy/Angel] M/F consensual sex, oral and anal sex, blood
play, BDSM, roleplay
Spoilers: Up to Bad Eggs then the universe splits off from there
Because of my personal and professional life, I will be unable to finish the series. Instead of leaving people hanging, I am posting the IM rough draft that the series was based on.The story is here as well as the plot and the smut. My good friend Dallas transcribed the IM format into something you could read. Thank you Dallas for all the hard work!
Eight FirstA-The sun has risen and Angelus as dropped. he is sleeping wrapped around Buffy
B-wakes up feeling very ill..... throws angelus's arm off her and runs for the bathroom...
A-looks at her retreating back side curious
B-falls to her kness at the toilet just in time before throwing up.....
A-walks up behind her as she vomits...*God it started early...*
B-empties out her entire stomache... rests her head against it.. small whimpers...
A-he walks out and phone room service for some tea and crackers...comes in and wets a towel and
flushes the toilet and wipes her face with the towel...rubbing her back gently...B-leans into his touch.. whimpering lightly....
A-wipes her down with a clean cold towel
B-winces as she has a small stomache cramp....
A-rubs her back with gentle motions... scoopps her up and walks into the bedroom kicking the
garbage can ahead of him
and lays her on the bed...garbage can next to the bedB-curls into a small ball.. glares at angel{us??} this is all your falut.. pathetic look on her face....
A-I orderedd tea and crackers. Trust me Buffy... drink the tea and eat the crackers... even if you
think you will puke..it will make you feel better....Yeah it is... smiles proudly at her while stroking
her face gentlyB-shakes her head... ohhh noo.. not being sock anymore.. ahte being sick.... naver
having sex again.. pouting.. turing into his touchA-it shouldn't last too long... if we make sure you never get up with an empty
stomach... hold her and strokes her...B-looks at him... sighs... still with a apthetic look hate being sick....
A-I know....But it is a good sign... the sickness this early.... kisses her neck
B-snuggles aginst him for a moment.. then shoves him way hard and throws up into
the bucket.... stays at the egde of the bed.... why can't you get sickA-he wipes her down when she is done....Do you really want to see a vampire puke?
B-would be more fun if you got sick... thinks for a moment. ewww... thinks at the image and starts
vomiting again.. : you're enjoying this....A-he answers the door for the room service as she pukes in the garbage can. The
bell hop is alarmed... Angel smiles "morning sickness" have the hotel doctor come up though
will you? he grabs another garbage can, gives her the clean on and takes the "dirty one inot
the bathroom. : she can hear him mepyintg it... and cleaning itB-whimpers.. curling into a small ball on the bed....
A-he comes out with a clean can and a fresh towle Buffy... do you trust me?
B-looks at him.... ye-sss thinks for a monet.. yes..
A-then I want you to eat these crackers and drink the tea.
B-whimpers.. staring at him with huge eyes
A-Please baby trust me.
B-looks at him.. then slwoly moves up into a timid sitting postion holds out her hand.. you should
know....A-hands her the cracker,: holds the tea ready, not getitng between her an the can
B-looks at him while she nibbles timidly on the cracker... these are gross angel...
A-yeah.. but they will kill the neausea
B-nods and slowly finishes the cracker...
A-the midwife said the nasea comes form the baby setting up home in the womb.
Good sickness earl;y... good home... [his childbirth education IS 1700's :)]B-smiles... in that case bring on the sickness... sarcastic voice...holds out hand for the tea...
A-Buffy remember biology class... the increase in progesterone when the baby
implants and starts to build : hands her the tea : phone rings...B-class??? I have classes?? frowns... hmm not for much longer i guess... looks at the phone who
the hell??A-picks up the phone. -better be good
G-Angel? I am sorry to disturb you ... we have a serious crisies I need to talk to
BuffyA-Shit. -hand Buffy the phone
B-looks at him.. then whimpers into the phone.. what???
G- Buffy I am so sorry... we have a serious Crises.
B-am sick.. not slaying on sick leave... not moving...
G-10 of the Watchers children of all ages ranging form 3 to 18 habve been taken by Zargon...a
local vampire in London... he is trying a coup on the Watcher councilB-fuck... looks at her stomache.. giles I really don't think I'm right for this....
G-HUH?
A-takes the phone. Shes puking her guts up with morning sickness Giles can't you call Kendra?
B-giles.. you're talking about children in danhger here.... swallows hard....
G-Yes Buffy. Watchers as adults are prepared to die for our jobs... but to have
someone go after the children... who never chose the life ....A-news flash... ait is 1030 am I am stuck her... until dusk
G-Yes. We want her to come to WC to set up you'll join us when you can.
A-growls... something is feeling bad
B-snuggles agianst angel... fuck giles... I'm pregnet.... giles going after someone
where kids are in danger is not very good for my mental state.. small whiper..also gets a very bad
feeling looks at angel... shaking her head...G-Buffy I am sorry... we need it. They won't be alive by dawn tomorrow which
would be the earliest we could get Kendra hereA-hangs his head... he knows they really don't have a choice...
B-looks at angel... sorrow in her eyes... small tear leaks out.. fine giles i'll be ther..
but tell them thanks.. they fucked up my wedding followed us here and now am sending me
out... sighs.. if anything goes wrong I'm out giles.. I mean it... has a very bad feeling she can;t
place....G-Buffy... the Watchers had nothing to do with this. I am calling you on my own. They never even
thought to call you... they are ashamed to call you I just can't bear to think of my sister little boy to
die that wayB-sighs.. either way giles... just rember what u said.. I'll be there as soon as I can...
G-ok hangs up
B-my spider sense is freaking out here somethings not right angel...
A-looks at her. -I want to go with you I don't want you to go alone..... To classic...Be careful it has
all the earmarks of a set upB-looks at him... you can't it's sun up...
A-maybe if I wrap in a blanket...
B-I know it does angel.. I'll be careful.. I think that they've learnt about inviting
people into wc... angel... you can't you'll be down tonight... it will be soon enough... I'll take giles
with me, I'll be fine.. small smile we'll be fine..A-God I hope so... but remember... a classic vampire trick is get invited then go
away... for YEARS... and then come in when the current people have no clue....B-this zargon guy will be toast
A-I can still walk into WC... and I haven't ben there since 1798 ..that is 201 years ago... who else
can?B-I'll have giles do a binding spell when I arrives.. keep all vamps out.. then i'll
invite you..A-ok... kisses her... now eat your toat and tea...
B-relax.. it'll be fine.. smiles ignoring her own gut feeling... does as she's told...
A-she does feel better... he hands her several boxes of crackers when she leaves
when the watcher car comes to pick her upB-kisses angel almost desperatly before running out to the car....
A-he tries to follow her...and she sees him flich and retreat before the sun... it is an
overcast day but the cloud cover is scattered...no some hired help and a few watchers go down
too.... make it pungent ...B- waves at him.. before getting into the car..
WC
A- Angel is sleeping...and then is awoken with horrible sensation of fear and battle...
he lives through her feeling and emotions... and her anger and hatred as she fights... It is 5pm and
the sun is still up and shining where he is... he is Ballistic then he experiences her pain...and her
heart breaking agony THEN NOTHING...... he feels as if someone puched a hole through his
chest... and calls watcher control
central no answer... then the phone number is busy ...He calls for a car... he dresses thicvk and
heavy with a towel draping his face to protect him fom the setting sun.... : drives like a demon to
WC bobbie pulls him over. He just knocks him unconcious... throws him in the cop car and
continues to drive....drives up inot the driveway....wheels squealing.... there are ambulances and
police cars and a coronors van....Bounds up the steps inot the WC and groans when he can walk
through the front
door... she never got the sheilds repaired... once inside rips the towel off and drops the coat to the
ground and turns to the
woman walking down the hall toward the door trying to intercept himA Where is Giles?
W- I can't answer that... this is no time for visits.. plaese.. I have to tell you to leave...
A-walks by another woman... he is trying to find Giles... walks up close right up to her so what he
says is not heard by the cop..I need The Slayers Watcher Giles right fucking now... low growl to his
voice.W looks at him... small terror in her eyes I don't know if he's still here... or if he got taken out
already with the slayer by the killer... did you come to finish the job??? thinks.. looks at him.. you're
angelus????A-nods What? who? Did what?
W shakes her head.. god I'm so sorry to tell you this... he was already ...
A-The Salyer was killed?
G-Giles rtuns through the door see's angel... ANGEL!!!!!!
A-voice drops a notch and the eyes go yellow..head snaps up...what the fuck is going on? deep
growlG-runs up to him.. thank god.. the bastard was here already.. attacked just after she arrievd..
A-Who? Oh God no...
G-Zargon... hands him the note.. matches the one angelus left years ago.. I found this
on her....A-drops to his knees it is hell revisited... all his crimes come to roost in his own
worldW-The Slayer Killer...
A-Zargon isn't the fucking Slayer Killer... growls he is dead meat deep growl
G-.. they took out the kitchen staff.. watchers.. god it was hoorible angel... she was
shoot with a crossbow in the stomache.. then drained...A-just looks up at Giles form the place on his knees. A the children?
G-pulls himself together.. it's dark now.. we have to go now... they were
butchered... holds out a hand to angel.. we have to get to the hospital...A-why? All the children are accounted for? Zargon as a taste for veal...
G-indentify bodies etc... he left them to mock us.... we foiund 3 of them only.. and
they were in bits...A-good... that means that 7 are still alive..the reast of the watchers are staring at the interaction...
Angelus is deep in game
face now and getting deeper....G-nods I have to ring joyce.. and the others.. tears forming.. I trust you'll be going
after zargon???A-Low snarl. I am going to redefine hell for that son of a bitch, use his eys for
marbles his intestines for garters... draw and quarter him and leave him for th dawn. like I
should have done in 1885G-wants to go one of the missing kids is his nephew... he thingks buffy is dead...
they thought she was dead taken out as a body and then taken to the hospital after enroute to the
morgue when she came back...nods, a bleak smile.. I hope you do... angel... do mre one favor
thoughA-turns to Giles
G-don't siucide yet.. come and see me before you do.... same arangement as with
jenny.. I'll go with you and put you with her...A-nods... after I get the kids back
G-alright.... it's a deal
A-he stalks out of WC...Angel hits the local hang outs and Angelus rasises hell... he rips up and he
kills... the watchers are getitng calls form every snitch... Angelus is in London and on the
warpath..finally finds out the lair...shows up
A-kicks the door in and strides inot the lair. the remaining children are chained like dogs off to the
side...he is so deep inot game face he is almost unrecognizable... Zargon!..Timmy a watchers son in
training stares at the new vampire in amazementZ-looks up at him... small smirk on his face.. hello angelus... I take it you found my
little present for you..A-Zargon you bastard! You son of a bitch...
Z-tsk tsk tsk angelus... just copying your own trick... you weren't impressed at the
perfectness of it.. smug smile...A-Goes in Gaeelic... swearing agains his family, bloodline, pet keepin habits,...Just what the fuck
were you trying to prove?: the children stare in shock at the vampire...Z-your women... her blood was as sweet as life.. the best i've ever had... and
killing the baby making sure she knew about it.. sheer heavenA-The Slayer Was MINE!...that blew it....He attacked and the battle was joined
Z-side stepped his inital attack and he spun and kicked him in the ribs Angel felt
ribs breakA-Angel ignored it... he doesn't need lungs... he spun around and drop kicked him...he kicked him
in the face and smashed his face on his kneeZ-you're a traiotor angelus. they get punished you must have known that... even if you
can kill me.. you'll know the reason you're pet died was becuase of you....A-Angelus was all out Zargon realized he was fighting Angelus... NOT Angel..I may be a traitor...
but I will be triumphant... I will scatter your ashes on her grave as tribute...picks him up and
breaks his back on his leg...spins him around and looks at him eye to eye...The Slayer was MINe...
and what was hers is mine... sinks fangs into his neck and drains him... tasting her blood in his
blood.. he can taste the large amounts of blood in his blood that is Buffy's and tears run down his
face as he drains him until he is dust....Kneels on the floor and Scrams in his rage... a crying
anamalistic sound, heart dendering to hear... : those few minions left that survive his aatack to the
lair split : turns to the Watchers children. Gets up and walks over...his rage is gone... and his face
has gone back to human... with bloodstained tears marks running down his face he starts to
release the kidsk1-looks at him and instantly trusts this vamp... why are you crying????...you won.... we're safe
now..A-looks down at the innocent child. - Because I lost someone very dear to me... I am taking you
home...K1-nods... I lost my brother, the vampire you killed hurt him..
A-to watcher control...I am sorry..I lost my wife and my child
K1-smiles I'd like to go home..... sorry about your family.. are they in heaven.???
A-I hope so...I'll never know...leads them out to the van
K1-all people go to heaven.. when they do good things.. you just did a good thing so
you will tooA-I wish I had your belieif.... No I think I will have a very different destination when I comes my
turn to die... they all follow him to the van and they drive...The Watchers are amazed when the van
pulls up and the children pile out of the
car and run into WC...Angel get out slowly... he looks like shit... like someone left him out in a dog
run for a year...FW-the female from the hallway runs up to agnelus... Angelus...you have to get to the hospital
now....A-Why? defeated tone... and manner... his eys hopeless destitution
FW-looks at him huge smile.. they sent the slayer to the morgue.. on the way she staredbreathing...
she's alive...A-WHAT?
FW-giles is with her now..is still critcal but alive.. been asking for you....
A-grabs the woman... take me!
FW-I'll drive.. get in..looks back at him... shower... first.. she'll freak if she sees you now.. come
on...takes him into wc..A-follows her lost and confused... why if she was alive coudn't he feel her?[anaesthesia in surgery]
FW-leads him to a abthroom.. finds him cleans clothes...
A-steps onto the shower totally oblivious to anyone watching... not caring...they see the full damage
to him which is massive... and the classic tatto they only had heard discribedFW-Looks at hium.. do you need blood to heal with...??? from what giles said she's been in and out
of surgary... replacing the blood..... and removing the.... trails off...A-the pregnancy....yeah.
FW-nods sadly.. I'm sorry.. motions to a watcher who leaves to get the blood..
A-he washes and then comes out and dries off...she sees many of the injuries he had going not the
shower aperar to be healing
coming out...FW-the crossbow hit her square in the stomache there was no way to svae it...
A-nods sadly... is she ok?...Will she live?
FW-the watcher arrives with some blood bags and hands them to angel..
A-eyes pleading with her : turns away form the watchers and drains the bags right there...rinses
his mouth in the sink...FW-we think so.... but she's worse off emotionally then she is physically...
A-We never thought I could father children... and will probably never do so again...lets go... he
looks somewhat presentable and they leave...FW-she knew about the baby when she was shot...... they had to remove her Uterus.. I'm sorry i
don;t think that she can.... looks at him sadly..A-oh god... hangs his head
FW-drives the van at high speeds to the hospital...swallows I'm sorry i truly am...
A-nods slowly
FW-arrives at the hospital.. you ready???
A-he rushes inot the ICU only to be stopped by an irate nurse and ward clerk..where is my wife?
G-giles looks up at the voice.. angel!! runs over to him....
A-Where is she?
G-looks at the nuse it's alright it's the husband...
A-nurse nods angel follows Giles what happened giles?
G- in the unit she's awake just...still very out of things..
A-walkks into the unit and sees her in the bed...
G-she came to in the van... they brought her here...
A-units of blood hangin...oh god they had pronounced her dead?...looks at her so frail so pail...
G-wehipsers I only found out by identifying the boys.. they were talking about agirl that made
it...yes they did.. we came so close.. i came so close to losing her...A-walks over to her and sits in the cahir next to her bed, knowing giles must have
been there...he lookes at al the IV lines and things...G-stands at the other side of the bed... it's not as bad as she looks..
A-leans over and kisses her...What the fuck do you mean not as bad as it looks?...she hears his
voice and rousesG-most of the stuff the blood is simply to replace her blood.. the worse is the
other.... breaks offB-whimpers slightly.....
A-stroking her face...I am here baby...kisses her forehead
B-looks at him... tears in her eyes...
A-oh baby...strokes her face gently
B-ange-- angel???? pure sadnees and emptyness in her voice...
A-I am here baby... I am here...
B-tears slid down her face... Im sorry i lost it... I messed up.... I killed our baby...... ....
A-he kissed her cheek...he could feel the loss the pain the sorrow the hurt the anger
the guilt...No baby you didn't...Zargon did...he stroked her face and laid his head beside hers...B-shook her head but I coudn't stop him... I didn't think it would haooen.... small cry..
A-you did nothing wrong...No baby there wan nothing you could do...
B-turning into his touch.... my fualt.....
A-no baby it was not you fault
G-feels taers at his eyes and slowly walks away...
A-I love you Buffy...I need you Buffy... please...
B-shakes her head.. you can't I killed you family.....sobing..
A-I can't do it alone anymore....Buffy I love you... I need you... You didn't kill my family...YOU are
my familyB-you hate me now.....whimpered.... unable to see past her giult...
A-no baby I don't hate you.. I love you...
B-shook her head shutting her eyes...
A-no buffy... please... buffy son't shut me out.......
B-whimpers.. it hurts angel..... it hurts....
A-I know it hurts...I know it feels horrible...I feel it too through you...I know what you feel I felt
your feelings when it happened!....Buffy I thought I lost you... they told me you were dead...and I
couldn't feel you anymore!B-why couldn't I have died?? why did I have to live with this..... cry of self loathingand self hate....
A-Kismet is an asshole... that is all I have come up with in the last 80 years....[kismet is
fate/destinay]B-whimpers. moving aganst him.....I don't want to feel anymore angel....please.. make it all go
away...A-holds her against him... and reached out with his emotions...and absorbed her pain
and agony and sorrow and looss...she felt his love and passion and acceptence and fascination with
her... his need of
her and his desire for her...B-whimpers it's not meant to be.. we're not meant to be.. can't you see that.. everytime
we're happy it's taken away from usA-NO Buffy... please... don't let Zargon win... don't let him win by destroying
ourselves what he couldn't touch..the worlsd is that way.... if we give in then he wonB-slowly moves towards him...amazed at his emotions.... he already won though....he took the one
thing we can never replace.. our baby....A-We are bonded...I am yours until the day you die.....Please Buffy don't make that day today....
he is terrified she will suicideB-whimpers softly.. hold me???
A-Buffy I told you once...and I mean it... If I had to chose between you or the baby... Iwould chose
you - holds her tightlyB-giles is watching me too closly to do anythihg... I want to kill zargon angel....
A-too late...They told me you were dead...I needed a target and elected him...
B-gives a grim smile... I hope he suffered...
A-you have no idea...he did one thing though...the watcher control thinks Zargon is the Slayer
Killer...B-I wish i had been there.... for once I'm gald of anglus nasty habits... what did he
do???A-when?..attacking a watcher in WC hallway?..kiiling vamps on the streests of london in ways that
will talked about for the next
century?B-I wish I had seen you kill zargon.. I'm pleased angelus killed him slwoly.... the rest i don;t care
about...A-taking back form Zargon what is not his to have...I broke his back, smashed his face and then
drained every drop of blood out of him he took form youB-smiles grimaly.. thank you.......shuts her eyes drifting back to sleep...
A-the irony is that without Zargon... we never would have met... at least with not
with me having a soul...shakes his head in the time dichotomy...he just sat there holding her hand...G-tip toes back in.. is she ok???
A-shruggs..she blames herself for losing the pregnancy...she is angry and hurt and lost
G-emotionally she would... it's natural.... she's said one thing to me.. that she's keeping her promise
to me.. whe said she won't slay....A-she feel hopeless...Oh god Giles...They'll retire her
G-shakes his head.. IU'm not too sure... I may cover for her...
A-She gave everything to it.. her life her choice her motherhood...how?
G-as long as we're in sunnydale and I give the reports we'll be ok... as long as the
numbers of vamps and demons stays down..A-laughes. So I become your Slayer? ironic
G-I think she will slay again.. it will just take her time to recover... she loved the
baby so much, it was a miracle to her... she'll die a little with it...A-I know... I wish I could take the pain and let her heal.... You want to know what? Iraged and
said I should have killed Zargon in 1885... but if I had done so I never would havegone to
hungary.... and would never have been cursed... and I never would have met her...if I had done
so... she never would have carried my child... or loved me...I probably would have died at her handG-smile life has a strnge way sometimes but I think I have a way for her to adjust and to believe
you love her still....A-how?...she is my consort... if she can't feel my love how are you going to show her?
G-when she gets realeaised from here.. go away with her.. I don't want to know
whereA-stares at giles...slight smile...yeah. your right...
G-make sure none knows where you are... no interuptions or anything.. just the two of you.... talk
bare your soul to her again and again till she comes too..A-I know just the thing... smiles
G-it will take a while and it will be painful for both of you but it will work...
A-yeah... yeah it will...he turns to he and lightly strokes her face as she slept... loving her all the
more in
her pain....G-smiles..... I already told joyce that you will look after buffy till she's healed...
A-It may take awhile... I guess the new slayer will have to keep you busy....
G-joyce told me to pass on her sympathies.... chuckles.. kendra is coming to cover sunnydale... I'm
to focus soley on buffy.....A-small smile... she died Giles.... somewhere in the world is a new slayer... [hello faith!
hehehehehehe]G-I just didn't tell any one else that. she won't be there... kendra is coming to help buffy....kendras
watcher will get the new slayerA-well you better have them look for her....
G-I will don't worry....
A-no... not kubuto...have someone more relaxed but firm without controlliong...
G-hmm you're right I know of one that's perfect... may end up with another buffy but i
know the chap....A-Maryann Dickerson... she would be a good watcher
G-nods alright... we'll see...
B-buffy stirs again.... angel????
A-smiles... well you better get her to boston...yes Buffy? [he is never going to call her baby again...]
G-nods i will... looks down at buffy..
A-kisses her cheek
B-couldn't see you.. small whimper
A-runs his lips over her skin genlty...I am here... I never left...Actually I am stuck til sundown...
B-looks at him, turns to his touch, sees giles... smiles as giles leaves...
A-you need to get stron... I have plans fo you...
B-don't leave me please???...what sort of plans..
A-Never. I will never leave you...oh that will be a surprise and will have to be shown to you.
B-wnices as she moves slightly.... don't know if i like surprises....
A-Trust me?
B-looks aorund the unit... i'm sick of hospitals
A-Please you will ike this one... and I can't tell you in advance
B-looks at him not answering....
A-as soon as the doctor releases you... I will take you out of here...
B-swallows hard but can't say she trusts him.. looks away breifly..
A-he realizes she no longer trusts him...his world crashes in...
B-whimpers.. I'm sorry angel.....
A-he tries to tell himself she is just hurting... but the pain is intenese...no there is nothing to be
sorry for... you have been through way too much recently.B-tears forming... small nod...
A-No human should have to deal with what has happened to you...strokes her face...runs his finger
over her lipB-turns into his touch... kisses his finger
A-I love you Buffy... I will love you for the rest of your life and mine...
B-nods slowly.. I know...
A-I wish I could fix it... make it all go away... but I can't...
B-moves slightly.. seeking his touch again.. at the same time she's telling herself it
will hurt to get close agin, she needs him thereA-kisses her... and hold her
A-He walked into the hospital room as soon after sunset as he comfortably could..Buffy was
dressed on the bed waiting for him... the nurse was giving her he discharge instructionsB-listened to the nurse rolling her eyes skyward.. bored with erveything she was being told....
A-Angel picks up the paper and reads the instructins...
B-glances at him.. forget it angel...we don't need them......
A-kisses her on the cheek... whispers in her ear... humour them
B-glances at him for a moment... then nods.. goes back to listening to the nurse..
A-she removes the IV acess when she is done.. Angel signs the paper work, anbd he gets a wheel
chair and brings it in the roomB-loooks at him then at him... noway.....it then him
A-hospital rules. I get you out of here on my time and terms you ride to the car. get in
B-sighs but gets into the chair.... head laening back aganist him...
A-I want to be on our way... kisses her forhead
B-nods... so where we going?????
A-he rolls her out and eventually to where a nice car is waiting... opens the door and helps her
stand [ it is hard...]..I'm not telling anyone... there will be no interuptions... this timeB-ok... winces as she attemps to stand... grabs his arm and leans on him.....snort noo interuptions I
find that impossible... always be something....A-not if I can help it... this time what ever interupts... I am going to kill -growls...Giles knows this as
does the fucking watcher councilB-moves away from him sharply at his growl alomost falling over....
A-holds her up and helps her sit... Are you ok?
B-small whimper escapes before she can get control...yeah angelus just took me by surprise...
A-I am sorry... we are both adamant of no interuptions this time...
B-leans back against the car seat... nods yeah I bet.... almost to herself... shuts here eyes...
A-he feels crushed... her mood is flaying him alive...she notices all their luggage is in the back seat
B-can't help it.... amongst her self pity.. and self loathing and giult was something new... her fear of
angel...looks back.. how long we going for...A-the fear of him is killing him... he can feel it...as long as we want..we come back when we decide
toB-nods
A-they start to drive and he leaves her alone in her thoughts
B-shuts her eyes... trying to work on blocking the link bewtween them... to spare him the
feelings....carefully slips back into her feeling of self loathing basking in them...A-he drives. he learned alot in 80 years and one was to control emotions and responses... Buffy
doesn't need to feel his pain... she has enough of her ownB-opens her eyes slowly.. do you have you cell phone to ring out with in case ... something
happens???A-they drive north... it is dark … yes I do. the number is changed and it is unlisted
B-nods staring out into the darkness.... frowns do you need to feed..?.. keeps staring into the
dark....A-No.. did that before I came overr...they stops at a traffic check and the man speaks in irish
accented englishe Angel replies in gaelllic and hands the passports… he hands the passports back
and looks at Buffy..." well enjoy your stay in Irland Mam'B-basically freezes in her seat at the accent when she realises where they're going.....
A-Angel drives on
B-shakes her head slightly....
A-whats wrong buffy?
B-you're taking me to your home aren't you???
A-am I that transparent?
B-shakes her head.. no not anymore.... bigger sense of giult overwhelms her.. going to the place
where he lost his other family.... and may very well lose heachother as well....A-I wanted to take you there all along... I planned to go there after we left the Estates... looks at
her hand... the ring is missing...B-nods slowly.....
A-it hits him almost a s a physical blow... she has rmoved his ring...
B-feels his hurt.. looks at him... what is it???
A-holds up his wedding band... where is your ring Buffy?
B-frowns... in my purse....they took it off for surgary......I never put it back on...
A-why not? she can feel the pain the thought causes
B-swallows hard.... turns away from him.... i didn't think you'd still want a marriage with us ..... low
whisper....A-stops the car and pulls to the side of the road. Why the hell not?
B-fliches slightly at his tone...
A-Buffy I love you... I love you more that life itself... I need you... I want you in my life forever...
B-shakes her head... fine... looks for her pruse deciding to humour him... not responding to his
words...A-hangs his head a minute... she has been so deeply hurt... will he ever reach her?
B-picks it up and takes out the wrapped up ring... slips it back on.... better????? leans back still
looking out her window a small tear escaping...A-reaches over and touches her face... -only if yu want me... only if you love me...
B-turns into his touch needed it but not saying anything.. can't even look at him....
A-.pulls her to him... and kisses her gently... letting his love and caring flow into her...
B-laens against him.. gently kisses him back.... I'm sorry angel.... small tired whisper...
A-I know you have experience incredible loss Buffy. It is normal to feel the way you do... hell I
mastered it... But it breaks my heart to see you this wayB-nods slowly... moving back to her seat... you shouldn't have to see me this way....
A-Buffy.. I need to see you everyway...
B-motions for him to start driving again...
A-I need to see you happy, when your sad … when I promised to love you... it was for everything...
foreverB-leans back in the chair shutting her eyes...... trying ti fiegn going to sleep not wanting to hear
anymore... scared to hear anymoreA-he drives in heart broken silence...
B-feels tears escape her at how much she's hurt him....
A-they drive into a small village... he seems somewhat confused and disoriented… I need to ask
directions... gets out and goes into a pubB-sits in the car loking around.... sighs... why is he doing this can't he just let it go.... small whisper...
A-he comes back and they start to drive...
B-looks at him a moment... puzzled...
A-shruggs the las time I was here... well lets say electricity hadn't been invented
B-nods.... you still have house here???
A-He drives up to a cottage. It is small and quaint and looks as if it had been untouched from
time… nods. yes I do...B-looks at it....swallowing hard.... wishing she could just run...
A-Buffy do you not want to be here? Do you want me to take you somewhere else?
B-looks at him.. no... we need to get this done... for better or worse ... undoes the safteybelt and
struggles with the door...A-gets out and helps her... shge looks att he home... it is stone... and looks like it froze in time…
Buffy I brought you here to share with you... not to torture you...B-smiles...it's nice... a proper family home... looks at him.. did you??? moves slightly away.. heading
for the door..A-Did I what?
B-bring me here to share with me??? you never have before...
A-Yes i did... Buffy I have opened up to you like I have opened up to no one
MB-old women comes up the drive... excue me???? (note for you crys MB stands for
Mrs.Brunstead)A-I wanted to show you where I was form… yes?
B-looks at him not saying anything..
MB-can I help you.. this is private property... my family wacteh it for the owners....
A-Oh I ma sorry mrs. Brunstead. I forgot to wire you... I am Angelus Boyle, and this is my wife....
MB-smiles... oh why in that case welcome home... looks at buffy oh my.. forgive me but your wife
looks unwell...A-yes she has had a trying time as of late and we wish to goto bed... thank you
MB-nods... if you need anything just ask...smiles and leaves them be...
B-leans weakly against the wall of the house... sighing..... nice lady...
A-he opens the door -coming?… he opens the door inot the home.
B-looks at him a moment but slowly walks in.. feeling her pain reutrn..
A-he walks in in the dark and lights a lantern... the warm glow shows the furniture... old and
appears homemadeB-looks around small smile.. I like it....
A-he walks into the main room and starts a fire in the fire place and then goes out and get the
luggage. Hands her her meds and some water.. I grew up in this house. I was my parents home...B-smiles at him almost shyly.... thnaks angel... kneels in front of the fire taking her meds..
A-he looks around and seems lost... I wanted it to be special... brining you here. I wanted to share
with you what I have never shared...B-stares into the flames..... looks over at him listening.... smiles grimly at him.. but nods.. thanks...
A-I never wanted to share with anyone... like I do you…feels her emotions and her with drawl… he
carries the lugge inot a room...B-looks away again hugging herself...watches him without speaking...
A-stand staring at the bed he slep in while he was growing.. he can't belive in 245 years he had
finally found the love his soul needed and it was slipping thotugh his fingers and there wasn't a
dmaned thing he could do about it...B-frowns... she didn't want to see his pain... couldn't handle it on top of her own...
A-the beds in those days were not large...and he wondered if she even wanted to sleep with him
anymore... shruggs he doesn't need to sleep... if that is the case... puts the bed warmer in the bed
to warm igt for Buffy... working on automatic...B-idly rubs her wedding ring... glaring at it.... sighs swallows.... angel?? what are you doing..
A-he comes inot the living room. -Is there anything I can do for you?… I was preparing the bed...
warming it so when we go to bed it will be warm for you… putting the lugges where we can get it...B-shakes her head quickly.. I'm fine.... smiles or at least tries to thanks...
A-sits down next to her… takes her hand.. I love you Buffy.
B-shiuvers and moves ever so slightly towards him needing his contact... looks into the fire not
speaking..A-he puts his arms around her genlty and just hold her
B-swalllows.... leaning back against his arm.... swallows hard.... angel?? thinking...
A-they sat quietly like that... he is at a loss... yes?
B-in the car you said if we parted zargon had won.. why ???? he attacked cuase I'm the slayer not
becuase of us… looks at the fire still not moving...A-Zargon went after you because you the Slayer and he heard you were in london by a source I
have yet to discover… looks inot the fire ans sighs… it was a plus you were important to me. He
gloated over killing you to me when I went after him... his hatred of me goes back to 1770's...B-looks at him slightly.... swallows....he knew you...
A-we both were in the Master's court together.
B-not liking what she was slowly working out... nods... why didn't he like you??
A-It was his politacl actions and lies and decit that caused me to have to leave the master's court
and caused me to go to hungaryB-frowns... that's all????
A-I killed his family...I made him a vampire and gave him to Darla ...as a gift...
B-froze completely.... beginning to see a very ugly picture in front of him... shakes her head
slightly..A-She brought him into the Master's court... he liked to think of us all as one "happy family"
B-just like you and dru...
A-He hated me form the begining... but it took him almost 80 years to make it work against me... I
eneded out of the court... out of being the Master's slayer killer and banished to hungary…not like
dru. He was darla's plaything... Darla was cruel.B-nods.. you gave darla a pet after when she gave you away as one???
A-I gave him to her to get away from her attentions as to please her.
B-shivers slightly...
A-Yeah... never siad I was smart...I was trying to break away form Darla and needed someone to
take her attention off me....I was never one to make alot of vampires... found them a pain in the
ass mostrlyB-frowns... why did he get you out of the slayer killer task.... thinks and then freezes as one very
horrible thought hits her....A-He looks at the ground... things were going form bad to worst… He persuaded the Master to
force me to train him to be a slayer killer...B-shakes her head slightly... quickly moves away from him... no.....
A-I effectively trained my replacement… when he felt he knew enough he undermined my position
in the court...B-stands and quickly crosses the room sinks to the flooor huddled against the wall..... oh god.......
please not this.... he came after me as revenge... revenge for something you did to him.....A-he watches her retreat form him.... feels like he has been staked... He came after you because
you were the slayer... but yes he did it also becaue of me...B-luaghs bitterly then i think you did a good job of training him.... laughs bitterly... he even copied
your own moves to do it...A-shame and self loathing flows in him…he trained the man who hurt his woman and killed his
chiled.. It was his fault just as much as if he shot the cross bolt himselfB-can only feel her anger and emotionally sick.... can't even sense his feelings now..
A-he feels her anger and her response and revulsion... what he feared most in the world was
happening... she had seen the demon and was repulsed and rejected himB-looks up at him.... damn it.. angel why couldn't you have told me this before i went after
him......you let me go.... dammit....A-I didn't want to let you go... I blocked that era... I never thought he would ever...
B-slowly gets to her feet...... you didn't think?????? jesus angel what did you think he'd do if he
knew who I was to you??A-he drifts off... his reasoning and thoughts sounded false even in his own ears… Shit I didn't
know he knew!… It is not fucking public vampire knowledge!B-invite me for cofffe..... anghel half the world knows... he's your choilde... he'd talk to spike or
dru.. wouldn;t take them to tell him... or the castle where you paraded me as a trophy of course he
fucken know.... winces as a headaches hits her.. rubs her temple wincing..... glares at him..... was
the price worth it??? angry to even listen to him worth keeping your past hidden.... keeping up
your current appearance of a person... was my baby and nearly my life worth it to you???
A-guilt almost overwhelms him... it was lal his fault... he made Zargon what he was... trained him..
and then held out both a challenge he couldn't refuse and a way to fucking hurt angel in fornt of
him like a challengfe : I wasn't "trying to keep it hidden! Buffy I have 245 years of history.... how
the hell am I going to know what will bite me in the ass?.. No I don't think anything that hurts you
is worth it... never...B-damn you angel.. that's why you should have told me it.. all of it.... so I can know when to be
careful... groans softly in pain.. her headache is killing her.....A-tell you all of what? you want a fucking biography? blow by blow death by death? Shit I don't
even bother rember it all... he gets her meds [been long enough] and goes to bring them to her...B-steps back from him qs he gets close....
A-he stops still and stares at her. shock on his face. She fears him... she hates him!
B-well... don't worry if zargon had lived i don't think he would have forgotten me....
A-puts the meds down within her reach and goes back to where he was…what? I don't
understand... he is lost... his world has eneded... she fears him... she hates him... she is repulsed by
him... all his worst nightmares are coming true...B-takes the meds... you said you forget lots of what you've done.... I'm sure that the way he took
me out he'd get
pleasure from the for centuries.... a small tear trickles down her cheek...A-oh god buffy... Buffy I have worked for 80 years to surpress that side... forget what attrocities I
did... Do you really want me reveling in the blood and distruction...B-brushes her tears away annoyed by it... well angel it seems even if you froget the past it doesn't
go away....A-I never thought in a million years this would happen... no shit... under his breath... I love you
Buffy... I never wanted you to ever be hurt...B-looks at him sadly... looks at him... seems all those time you warned me about youself... you were
right, slips off
her wedding ring and puts it on the table.... love isn't enough anympore angel....A-*Oh god no...!*.. Buffy please... no don't do this... Buffy...
B-she looks at him sadly... about to say something but walks around him and goes to the bedrrom..
I' sorry angel.... shuts the door..A-Just when he had started to belive there was a chance at love... to love and be loved... she was
rejecting him.
sits staring at the ring... goes to the doorB-locks it behind her and colaspes against the door sobbing..
A-Buffy we are consort bonded you jat can't take a ring off and walk away!
tries to open the door.... Buffy open the door... you can't lock me out of your heart like you can
the bedroom!B-damn you angel...... i don't want the ring or the binding....
A-PLEASE! : stops.
B-shuts her eyes and curls up on the bed..
A-he stares at the door. She just refused him offically... her words replays in his mind... eating at
his sould like acid..."damn you angel...... i don't want the ring or the binding...." She doesn't want
the binding...B-does the one thing she can for piece and no pain... slowly goes to sleep crying even in that...
A-She doesn't want the marriage.. why would she he was just a fucking vampire with delusions of
human hood... her words "keeping up your current appearance of a person... " rang in his ears
she doesn't even think he is a person... just appearences... he stared at the fire as it burned...
sinking deeply into a dark and morbid thought... She hates him..She doesn't want the marriage of
the binding... he takes her ring, and his... and puts them together on the kitchen table..takes
paper. writes a note to her...
Buffy~
I love you more than anything. I never meant for anything of this to ever happen and never saw it
coming. I am sorry. I didn't want my loving you to ever cause you such pain... maybe you were right...
maybe I should have listend to my inital voice which told me that my loving you would cause you
nothing but pain. But I love you enough to do as you ask. With the dawn I release you from the consort
bond as you wish. I also release you from our handfasting marriage as you wish. Go on with you life...
foind a human who can love you the way you need to love, without my history and without my demons...
Find a love who can be to you what I wanted to be... but could never attain. All my love for eternity ~
Angel/us…. he puts the rings on the letter and slowly walks out the door to await the dawn....
A-Angel sits in the dark, watching the fireshow as the sun starts to rise... it is at least a half hour
before the rays of the sun will strike him... : he is starting to squint form the light as the morning
blazes accross the skyB-wakes up feeling her pain... and a deep painiced feeling.. frowns at it... wincing as she remebers
her harsh words to angel..A-it is better this way... she wil be relased form their bonding and marriage to go on... Pain fills him
as he thinks of how he hurt her... how much he loved her and her injury was all his fault...B-slowly gets up moves into the other room?? angel... sees the note and nearly collaspes....
swallows hard as she reads it... no.. please no..... angel!!!!!! it was yell yell full of terror....A-he feels the pain but thinks it is his own... as he sits awaiting the sun to burn away the sins of
centuries... he has his shirt off... the more skin that hits the sun when it rises the quicker his deathB-runs for the door.. naerly collasping in pain.. ignores it.. runs outside... angel!!!!!!!!!
A-turns to see her coming toward him
B-nearly falls to her kness in pain... but makes it to him collaspes against him...
A-turns back to the dawn... the sky is a bright angry red...
B-please angel.... crying don't do this... please....
A-go inside Buffy. It is too cold for yout here now... his voice is quiet and reserves as if he is
discussing weather and not his death looks at her. Do what? You told me... you don't want the
marriage or the bond. you told me I am willing to sacrifice you for the appearence of being a
person...B-fallss to her kness on the ground sobbing.... angel please.... don't do this to us....we can be fixed..
I was hurt last night and turned my self loathing agansit you....A-looks down at her...
B-looks at the sky.... please angel... don't do this.... i need time to heal... it's just hard now.. but I
love you.. I need you with me...A-Can we be fixed? You right... I am a monster. A demon who wrecked havok and hell for 150
years. I don';t even know all he did... and my past will haynbt me... it killed outr child and almost
killed you... and I will never know where it will come form again You don't want me with you
Buffy... you hate me and you fear me... You are finally now seeing what I tried to show you so long
ago... I am a monster...B-whimpers at his words.... please angel....
A-I am sorry....God Buffy I am sorry...
B-swallows hard... if you're going to do it.. at least leave me a knife becuase if you die I will folllow
you.....A-NO Buffy... why would you follow me? I am not even a person...
B-look into his eyes and slowly stands wicing in agony........ damn it angel.. so what.. yoiu're better
then any person I know.. what happened was not your fualt.... it was a freak thing to happen...
please.. please just come inside... give us a chance...A-I was folish to ever think I could claim what I should have accepted was
why change no Buffy? I don't understand... he loks down... she can see the rays lighting the sky...B-angel i lost my baby our baby.. please don't make me have to go with out you too.. cuase I
can't.....A-You sent me awy buffy. You refused outr bonding and you refused and rejected our marriage...
don't you remember..."damn you angel...... i don't want the ring or the binding...."B-opens the link between them... sending him her feelings of love for him....
A-she feels his pain and agony... he wants to belive so much...
B-I was hurt angel... I couldn't handle the two , lots of emotions and it scared me.. I thought you
married me because oif the baby... Buffy I married you because I loved you... I married you when
we did the consort bond... begs him.. please please come inside angel.... I can't live without you...
crying against his chest... please angel....A-I told you if I ever had to chose between the baby and you I wanted you... All I want in the
world is you..B-then take me.. I am yours... please ....
A-I can't buffy... I can't , I can't promise my past will not come between us again... I can't
remember even all my enemies who may seek to hurt you I don't know what moments of the past
will hurt you again...B-hits him then... hurt and scraed..... I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!
A-I do Buffy... I care... I love you more than anything in the world... that I have loved anything or
anyone since I was a toddler playing in these felids... I caused you pain and I was the source of you
agony... the sky is bright... dawn is almost there...B-all I want is you... I can handle the rest... just come inside...... gives us a chance.... I don't want to
die.. but I will if you do... if you love me please don't hurt me this way..... this is more I can't be the
cuase of your death.. I love you angel.. please....A-You are not the cause of my death Buffy. I am... I caused my death in 1753, and My actions
distroyed any chance of a future...B-pulls on his arm.. trying to lead him inside.. knees beginging to buckle in pain.. and loss.........
angel.......A-pulls her to him and kisses her... I love you Buffy...I have always lovedf you and always will...
holds her tight...B-please come in at least if you only give us a day or so... I beg you.... hugging him.. sighs... angel I
need you... i want the marriage... the bond.. please.. don't take them from me.....A-I can't sit there for a day or two watching what I can never have... watching the pain I caused
you... watching the distruction of everything ... what do you mean you want the bond and
marriage... you told me you didn't... I am not even a person... this is the only way I can release you
form the bond to let you go on....B-angel... help me rebuild it then..... help me... i am sorry angel... I can't tell you how much... but
please..... I want this bond.. I need you.....A-he looks inot her eyes
B-slowly collaspes in pain... angel ..... small whimper... please.....
A-she sees the pain.. agony... then she remebered what he said at the bronze when they fought "
You don't know what it is like... to do the things I have done... and to care.."A-he holds her.. tightly... he knows this is going to hurt like hell...
B-looks at thee sky.... rebiuld with me...... I do know how you feel... the pain you've been through,
and I do care.... please angel...... I love you with my haert and soul... but I can't live without you...
please don't make me try to... I'll only follow you.... cups his cheek.. naerly blacks out in pain.. but
tries to ignore it.... please angel.....A-he stares at her... what she said ringing in his ears... "I love you with my haert and soul."
B-whimpers... please..... angel.... don't do this give us another chance... ttime to heal... and love...
A-he scops her up and quickly carries her inot the house... diving inot the door just as the suns rays
lick at his back raing a serious burn on his back he kicks the door shut and just hold her in his
arms in thje mian room...B-collaspes in his arm... shutting her eyes at the waves of pain washing over her.... holding him
tight... sobbing against him....A-he puts her down and gets her pain meds givers her 3 and hands her water..
B-quickly takes them..... angel.. are we ok??? quickly holding a hand out to him... needing his
touch... hissing at the pain in her.... looks at him... angel you're hurt... small whimper...A-he picks her up and carries her to his bed and lays her down
B-keeps her hold on him.... your back... angel.....
A-not as much as I would have been in a few more minutes..- It'll heal
B-whimpers again tears coming back to her eyes at what had almost happened...
A-I was trying to give you what you told me you wanted...
B-I was wrong.... I was hurting and lashed out at you...... please... I know you can't forgive me...
but please angel...A-I always can forgive you Buffy... I thought you locked me out... I thought you rejected me and
hated me... didn't want me anymore... I thought you saw me as the monster I amB-I love you.... more than life itself.... I can't bear the though of life without you...... shakes her
head I saw you the way you are... a person with fluats like the rest of us... but i was hurting so
mauch... I lashed out.. I didn't mean what i said.....A-Buffy I am faulted as much ans any and probably more than most...
B-rubs her eyes... angel get our rings...... i can't think of anyway to convince you without action....
watches him... please....A-he shruggs and goes out and gets the rings... she realizes she complete undid all the building they
had done... he is now back onto self loathing and hatered seeing himslef as a monster unworthy of
loveB-groans... crying agian....
A-he returns with the rings and hands them to her... his eyes are distant... he is hurting and he is
scared...B-takes them... giveme your hand.....
A-puts out his right hand ..it is as if he isn't thinking about what she is doing... almost as if he can't
allow himself to hope...B-looks at him.. hurt but swallows it knowing it was her fluat... the other one angel.....
A-extends the left hand... there is a tremor in his hand
B-takes it... slids the ring back on to his nhad.. lifts it and kisses it tenderly.....
A-he watches her... to scared to even hope...
B-picks up her own ring .. watches him as she slides her own ring onto her finger... whimpers
softly.... I'm sorry angel... does this prove it too you that I still love you??A-he looks at her... his eyes fill with bloodstained tears... brimming and then trickling over
B-prove at least that I want to try agian... I ned to you're all i have angel.. all I want.......all I
need..... you're my lover.. my husband.. my soul mate... my life .. you're everything to me....A-he slowly pulls her to him..and hugs her
B-hugs him tight...
A-I love you buffy... he whispers hoarsly
B-nuzzles into him.. I love you too
end first 8