Armageddon Saga
Chapter FortyOne:
A Mother's Reflections
By the Lady Sirona  ladysirona@LadySirona.com

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     Joyce rode in fearful silence from the London airport to the hospital.  The Watcher sent to transport her from the airport to the hospital left her to her thoughts.  He was a bit awed to be in the presence of Slayer Prime's Mother, and prayed he wasn't delivering her to her daughter's deathbed.  It was highly unusual for a Slayers parent to even know of a slayer's Battles.  It was unheard of for them to be as involved as Slayer Prime's mother   was... but then Ripper Giles's Slayer was not at all usual to start with.

     Joyce knew the Armageddon battle had been fought, and obviously they had won.  She also knew that Buffy had been severely injured and had then become unstable.  She knew Buffy had been flown to England from Hungary. Rupert had told her that Buffy was not expected to survive, and she was sent airline tickets to come to her daughter's probable death bed. Horror reached up, and grabbed her by the throat as she thought of her baby in a strange hospital... maybe dying.

     The British countryside whizzed past her window and Joyce stared out the window andsaw none of it. *Not my baby, please, not my little girl...* Joyce told herself and any deity that would listen. *She's so young.....please... she can't die....*

 
     Six died in the Armageddon Battle, and all their families would know was their Slayer fell in battle, and another would be called.

     Joyce saw Giles, her daughter's Watcher.  She walked right up to him "Where is she?" Joyce demanded in a fear filled voice. Giles nodded acceptance of her rage.  He looked Joyce and the Watcher who brought her to the hospital. "She is in the ICU- they are not allowing visitors right now, it is shift change. They do not allow visitors between the hours of 6 and 8. The physician will be out momentarily to update us on her condition..."

     Joyce looked at Giles, her usually unflappable watcher, and realized he had an air ofquiet panic about him, which made her uneasy. "What happened Giles? Please, I need to know what happened..."  She unconsciously found herself referring to him as her daughter did; Giles.

     Giles sighed, he knew he would have to tell her... but it hurt so much to do so. "Buffy sustained severe injuries in the battle with the Demon Lord. Of the eight Slayers who went into the Battle, she and Kendra are the only survivors."  He closed his eyes.
     Six of the best eight Slayers died in the Battle, and Giles felt sad his only basic response was thankfulness that Buffy wasn't among them. "We told the medical personnel a coverstory that she feel 30 feet while rock climbing."

     "Thirty feet?" Joyce sat on a chair heavily.  Joyce remembered once hearing that falls above 20 feet were usually fatal.  "Oh god...." Giles sat next to her. "We are doing everything possible. Had she not been a Slayer, she never would have survived this long."

     Joyce looked at him. "Had she not been a Slayer she never would have been hurt in the first Goddamn place! She's just a child, Giles..." Joyce stared at the ICU doors willing the doctor to come out and talk to her, her rage impotent at the moment to help her child.

     Giles looked at her. "I know Joyce. It isn't fair to trade her or any other Slayer's life to save the world... but they have done it or ages and they still do it, and the world was once again saved, and the Demon Lord was destroyed. Forever." Joyce looked at him and realized for the life of her...she just didn't care... she was too angry. "My baby saved a
 world that doesn't even know she exists!"

     A young man in a scrub uniform and white coat who came out of the ICU doors and walked toward them out which stopped her tirade. "Mrs. Summers?" He asked quietly. Joyce quickly nodded an affirmative. "I am Doctor Wilson, I am your daughter’s physician.”
     She shook his hand automatically. "I am sorry we have to meet under such circumstances. I need to know how much you have been told?"

     Joyce looked at Giles.  "Enough..." Giles interrupted her. "I told her about the fall. Not the specifics of the injuries. I told her mother only about the 30-foot fall while rock climbing. I left the medical details to you."  DR Wilson nodded.  At least he didn't have to undo her thoughts and expectations of the injuries. Joyce looked at him.  "Please, Doctor, I need to know...how severely in my daughter injured?"

     DR Wilson frowned... the list was long and far too depressing to tell a mother... but he knew he had to...  "Well Mrs. Summers you daughter has been very severely injured,” and proceeded to list her numerous injuries to her.  As the doctor droned on repeating the list of damage to Buffy, Joyce stared in shock at the doctor as he seemed not to be slowing with the list of devastation... "Oh god," she said quietly as he continued.  Joyce sat heavily down on the chair at the sheer mass of damage was growing without any end..
     Joyce just stared in shock. No one could sustain that kind of damage and live... could they?

     Dr. Wilson took a deep breath. Now came the hard part. "She suffered a fetal demise, and it has caused a coagulation problem called DIC, or Disseminated Intravascular Coagulpathy. It has complicated her bleeding problem by making it so her blood isn't clotting  properly.  She is very at high risk of bleeding to death.  She still requires manyblood products, to replace the missing factors.  The fetal demise has caused her to have severe Sepsis, and therefore she has infection in her bloodstream  which has put her into Septic Shock."

     Joyce stared at the Doctor in shock. "Fetal demise?" *Buffy was pregnant?* The Doctor seemed surprised Buffy's Mother didn't know of the pregnancy. "Yes, a fetal demise, she lost one of the triplets. So far the other two are intact on ultrasound and doing as well as can be expected."

     He continued with his litany of destruction..."With the blood loss, Septic Shock and the drugs used to fight it, she has gone into acute kidney failure.  We do not know if it will be temporary or permanent.  If she survives the trauma and the septic shock, she may be ondialysis for the rest of her life. She is currently requiring dialysis to remove toxins from her blood everyday."  Doctor Wilson looked at her mother with sadness and compassion.  "I am sorry, but the expected mortality for these problems is between 95-99%. I am personally amazed she is still alive. If she survives, we do not know of the extent of herhead injury and any resulting brain damage, or the damage the babies may have received because of the problems, the drugs and treatments.."

     Joyce stared as the horror continued for her as the Doctor continued to tell her thedamage. "Her survival probabilities are slight... between 1 and 5 percent, and if she survives, she may lose the twins, if they survive they may be brain damaged or deformed. She may be brain damaged and may be on kidney dialysis for the rest of her life... Wedon't know... I am so sorry not to be able tell you better prognosis. Do you have any questions?"  Dr. Wilson knew this was just the tip of the iceberg.  He would be answering the same questions over and over again for days as she adapted and accepted.  It wasnormal.

     Joyce sat there in complete shock.  So much damage... her little baby...So muchdamage... tears flowed down her face as she thought of the pain Buffy was going through. "Can I see her, please?"

     Dr. Wilson put his hand on her shoulder. "Yes you can go in and see her. As soon as shift change is done.  Her oncoming nurse Kara can answer any questions you may have. If I may be of assistance will you please tell me? Mrs. Summers... Please be aware, that we may be finding injuries and damage for a few days. For example I believe her left shoulder and clavicle may be fractured, But right now there is nothing we would do withit anyway and she is too unstable for a complete x-ray series at this time to verify it.  We will continue to observe her closely"  Joyce nodded absently at the Doctor and he left.

     Joyce turned to Giles. "She's pregnant? My baby is pregnant?" Giles nodded to her. "I will explain completely later.. Joyce.  I need to talk to about something.... You know of Angel..." Joyce looked at him startled. "Yes, I know Buffy wrote me and it seemed they had gotten together...but what does he have to do with this now? Didn't he leave with that woman for something like a 121 years of service?"

     Giles sighed. "You were there when he got his soul returned... and he had to go serve the woman who saved us..."  Joyce nodded remembering. "The woman he served was the Lady Tirla, the one who organized the battle and who fought the Demon Lord. She released him from her service after the battle,  once the Demon Lord was defeated."  He drifted off unsure how to tell her the rest. "He's here isn't he? He is with her." Joyce saw the obvious quicker than Giles initiallygave her credit for. Giles nodded in relief.  "Angel is with Buffy right now. He has been with her all along... he hasn't left her side.  In fact, he paid for her hospitalization and surgery in Hungary and the lifeflight to London, in cash.  Without him she would have died at the site of the battle."

     Joyce jumped to the obvious conclusion. "The babies are his?"  Giles sighed. "Yes, and I have no idea how... vampires are not supposed to be able to father children, at least not at his age of 245."  He sighed again.  He might as well get it all out. "Buffy is listed a Cheryl Doe, and he is listed as her husband.  I am listed as her father.  The story the hospital had been told was she fell while rock climbing on their honeymoon, I just want you to know our cover story and what to expect when you see him..."

     Joyce nodded... It made sense, but having Giles listed as her father could cause a problem when Hank arrived. "I need to see her Giles...I need to see my baby...." Giles nodded as he lead Joyce into the intensive care unit and to the corner room where Buffy is.

     "Oh my god... oh baby,” Joyce stared in shock, and started to weep....  Three units of blood were hanging, she had 6 or 7  IV pumps also going... The ventilator was attached to her endotracheal tube coming out of the side of her mouth. A tube from her nose ran to suction and looks like it was draining blood.   Joyce glances down... tubes seem to be running every where and blood seemed to be in most of them...

     Angel looked up as they entered and he quickly stood and gave Joyce his chair next toBuffy's bed where she could hold her right hand. "Buffy, Your mother is here baby, she just flew in from California to see you...We are getting her accustomed to your situation baby, she is quite shocked.. You do look somewhat startling." He spoke with a quiet voice to the unresponsive Slayer.

     Joyce leaned forward.  The swelling of Buffy's skin was painful to behold. "She'll be OK." She told him as much as herself as she gently stroked her forehead.  "Buffy... honey... can you hear me?"  There was no response to her touch or to her speech.  Joyce lookedup at Angel with fear in her eyes.

     "She isn't responding, but the nurses tell me to talk to her as if she can hear.  Joyce is there anything I can do for you?"  Angel asked the distraught mother at her daughter's bedside. Joyce looked at Angel coldly, here was the man... vampire...  creature... who got her baby pregnant!  Rage flowed in her at him... how dare he!  "I think you've done quite enough, don't you?" Joyce told Angel tightly, then in a very quiet voice..."Leave... now..."

     Angel misunderstood her comment and missed her order. "No it is never enough if Buffy needs something..."  He drifted off confused at the animosity in her gaze.

     Giles caught Joyce's verbal attack, and was grateful Angel was so tired he missed theimplication. "Joyce, Buffy would have died in Hungary if it wasn't for Angel. He got her out of the battle zone, and when she was safe he got her the care she needed when nothing but cash could get it for her in a foreign country... He paid cash for her hospitalization in Hungary and he paid cash to bring her to England..."

     Her order finally dawned on Angel. "Leave?"  She wanted him to leave Buffy?  He stood in the center of the room in shock.  He couldn't leave her!

     Buffy was locked in her body, she couldn't get out.  She could hear what was happening around her, but couldn't respond. Her mother was sending Angel away! *Mom... No... Please... I need him...  I'm scared... I can hear you Angel.....*  She fought to keep himwith her... she needed him!

     Giles saw her monitor change as her heart rate increased dramatically, and her bloodpressure dipped. "Joyce no... You can't send Angel away... look at her heartbeat, it just increased! Joyce, you’re upsetting her..." Giles approached the bed in an attempt to calm his Slayer. "Buffy, relax, Angel isn't going anywhere."

     The nurse Kara ran and looked at the monitor, Buffy's hear rate had increased to 165 to 170 beats per minute from the 120 -130 they were before. "Is she in pain? What happened? What agitated her?"  Kara went out to the station get her sedation.

     Joyce realized her threats to send Angel away was what agitating Buffy.  Joyce stroked her forehead.  "I'm sorry baby... it's OK... I won't send him away... I will never send him away from you."  She looked up at Angel as he bent over the side rail and kissed herforehead.

     Angel stroked her face lightly. "It's OK baby, she loves you and doesn't understand. I am ot going anywhere...ever...  I am right here...” Joyce watched fascinated, as Buffy's heart rate slowed to 130.  She was alive, and could hear them!

     Buffy tried to move but she couldn't. She tried to talk but the tube got in her way... and she drifted off to sleep as she realized Angel would stay...

     Angel turned to Joyce. "Mrs. Summers, you may hate my guts. But I am not leavingBuffy's side for anything. If you want to rip me a new one, or rip me to shreds, I’ll take it, but outside the room."  Joyce realized he meant it, and that he would take anything she chose to give.  Not because he had to, but because he'd let her.

     Giles nodded in agreement with Angel's words.  "Joyce, We have figured out she becomes critically unstable if he leaves her side for any longer than 10 minutes.  He hasn't left her side since she arrived here."

     Joyce stared at Angel then at Giles. "What I'd like to do is tear you apart for what you've done to my little girl....and then leave the pieces for her father...."  Angel saw in Joyce an expression of the animalistic anger of the mother protecting her young. The rage and thepower in her was incredible to behold.  Now he saw the woman who took an ax to Spike to protect her daughter during the back to school night.

     He hung his head. "I guess I deserve that... Mrs. Summers. Please, I need for you to know that I love Buffy more than life itself. I would never willingly do anything to hurt her"

    Joyce looked at the man she knew her daughter loved... who took her into battle while pregnant... and wanted to hurt him... badly.  "My baby is strong... if anyone can make it through this she can.... But I swear to you right now... she dies... you die...  I don't knowhow... but I’ll find a way..." Angel and Giles stared at Joyce... they could tell she meant it!

     "Joyce if she dies... I will die. You won't have to worry about killing me... but right now, no matter what our problems are, we need to put them aside for Buffy” Angel stroked Buffy's face gently.. Joyce looked into Angel's face and could easily see the torment in his eyes. She nodded slowly.  "Yes I'll put it aside ... for Buffy"

Angel stared at Joyce. "Joyce, I am sorry, Buffy and I never thought she would, or even could get pregnant. I am not supposed to...  be able to father children."  He looked at Buffy with a sad expression. "We will discuss this later... if" Angel's voice died off as he looked at the monitor, the obvious going unspoken... 'If she survives'.

     Angel sat in another chair taking her swollen hand in his.  He very gently strokes the swollen skin, the fluid filling her to almost bursting. Joyce noticed Buffy’s heart rate lowered 10 points with the contact from Angel. Buffy's running thoughts of consciousness continued at the touch *mmmmm.... Always makes me feel better... wish I could seeyou... talk to you...*

     Kara came back with the pain medication and sedation  "I am going to sedate her I can't have her this agitated." Joyce watched as Kara injected her with  the drug and the heart rate almost immediately dropped to 110 -115.  Buffy's mind started to slow. *Witch...oooh...room's spinning... stop the ride I want off...* and she slid into unconsciousness.

     Angel looked at Joyce... It meant so much to Buffy, he couldn't stand to have Joyce mad at him. "Joyce, I am so sorry.."  She looked at the man... no, vampire her daughter loved. It wasn't fair. "Angel I don't want to talk about this right now...  not here.....I'm still too angry..."  Angel just sat at Buffy's side, looking totally lost.

     Giles couldn't stand to see Angel hurt like that after all he had been through. "Angel, you were an integral part in the destruction of the Demon Lord. Without you both Kendra and Buffy as well as Willow would be dead, and the Hellmouths would be open and we would be living in hell on earth." Angel looked at Giles and just shrugged. The price was personally too high.

     Joyce looked up at Giles words. "Willow? Where is she?" Giles thought this would be a good time to build Angel in Joyce's eyes. "Willow was captured by the Demon Lord to use as a Weapon against us.  Angel saved her.  Since they are limiting her visitation to "immediate family only," Willow and Xander are visiting a relative of Xander's right now while Xander recuperates."

     At Joyce's alarmed look, Giles continued. "Xander was injured prior to the Final battle, but is recovering nicely. He and Willow are now, ah, item.  They seem to have accepted their relationship."

     Joyce smiled. "He finally realized it, did he?" She chuckled a little.  "His nick name from the girls has been 'Mr. oblivious', Buffy dubbed him that about three days after she met him and Willow when we got to Sunnydale."  Giles laughed with her at the apt description.

They lapsed into uncomfortable silence. What would they talk about when what they really wanted to talk about couldn't be said?

     Angel finally broke the silence. "Did you get the shipment of the artifacts Mrs. Summers? Were they intact?"  Joyce looked at Angel.  She forgot how happy she had been to receive that token of her daughter.  How glad she had been to know she was alive...

     "Yes - but I have no idea what to do with them...." Joyce said wryly. Angel shrugged.  "I leave it to you. I just figured your gallery could use the ability to have such items available to it. Feel free to have them evaluated and sold ... Hey, her blood pressure has stabilized." Angel looked at Buffy's monitor.  He wanted to avoid uncomfortableconversation with Joyce.  He wanted her to be supported...

     Joyce saw what Angel was doing.  No matter what happens... Buffy needed her man... no vampire.  Joyce realized her support of Angel, would eventually support Buffy.  "Angel?"
     Joyce called to him.  He looked up question in his eyes. "The last thing she needs is you distraught.  We need to stay strong... keep the faith." Angel's eyes met hers, and Joyce saw the terror in his eyes. It didn't make it to his voice, or his touch but she could see that it was eating him like acid. Angel replied softly. "I agree."

     Angel saw the fear in Joyce's eyes at the new action of the nurse. "Kara is measuring Buffy's cardiac output and finding how constricted her blood vessels are, it also tells the pressures in her heart and lungs.  It tells Kara how much fluid to give her and how tomanipulate the strong drugs they give her for blood pressure medicine." Kara smiled atAngel. "I will have you trained as a nurse yet Angel." Angel laughed humorlessly. "No thank you."

     Joyce continued in her attempt to reach her daughter’s lover she had so quickly alienated. "Angel, I know you're scared... so am I... but we have to believe she'll be OK... just wait Angel... she's gonna have us both on the carpet for this one... Angel... you sound so tired... you need to rest..." Angel sat at Buffy's bedside looking as if he heard nothingJoyce said.  That was when Joyce really accepted what was obvious to everyone who saw him at her bedside.  Buffy was his world.

     Kara chatted at Buffy in a running monologue with her care. ''...Well Buffy your bleeding into your chest tubes has decreased... that is good...maybe I can slow down on the blood transfusions soon..." Joyce watched as Kara poured the bloody drainage from the chest tubes into the container. " Well Buffy, you still not peeing for me...as she checked the
Foley catheter. "I guess your still doing dialysis tomorrow...” Joyce wondered if indeed the nurses talked to all their unconscious patients this way.  By her ease in talking to Buffy... she figured they did.

 
     Joyce looked at the nurse.  "She's all swollen up... why?"  Kara looked at her. The family wasn't usually ready this soon to be taught.  It was a good sign. "It is from the sepsis and the fluid for the bleeding and the low blood pressure. The toxins in the sepsis cause the blood vessels to leak fluid into the cells, swelling the skin and dropping her blood pressure... it is called septic shock. We give a lot of fluid to keep the blood pressureup,  this causes the fluid to flow into the skin. We estimate she is holding about 20 to 30 kilos of water in her skin.  Eventually the fluid will shift.  Especially if we can get her kidneys working again.

     Joyce looked at her. "This is caused from the baby dying?' Kara frowned. "Yes, When she lost the baby, the reabsorbtion of it caused her to be septic, as well as the injuries to the lung, liver and spleen... it is not just one thing... I am giving her medicine to clamp downon the blood vessels to limit this response...."

     Buffy was laying there quietly as they talked around her.  She knew she was really sick and injured... but when they talked about the baby...The baby died? * NO!!!......no oh please... nonono..... Not the baby......... Angel.....ANGEL!!!?!!!!

     Kara  was continuing "...but the ultrasound shows she still has two healthy babies surviving...Damn it.." She looked at the monitor, which alarmed with an incredibly high heart rate.  Kara grabbed some medicine and injected it into her IV line. "That upset her?"She drew a blood sample and left after Buffy calmed down.

     Angel was standing at her side in a flash stroking her forehead in a soothing manner. "It's OK baby, you still have the twins. They are still OK - remember baby, you had triplets...two are still OK... only one died... ssh, it is OK two are still OK.... "Angel looked at Joyce. "She really wanted the baby...." He looked embarrassed.

     Joyce looked at her daughter. "She wanted babies... lots of them... even when she was little...was always trying to get me and Hank to have another one." Joyce chuckled dryly at the memory of her pleading for a brother or a sister.

     Angel looked at her surprised. *She never told me that! *He thought as he said softly,"She is carrying my twins," in a stunned sort of quiet voice.  Joyce looked at him with a little bit of humor. "I caught that, Angel.... She’s gonna be thrilled." Angel looked surprisedto find out he spoke out loud.

     "If she's anything like me when I was pregnant with her...." Joyce couldn't believe she was at her daughter ICU bed chatting with a 245 year old vampire.  It was unreal...

     "What were you like pregnant with her?" Angel’s face lit up thinking of Buffy.  Joyce smiled. "Hank always used the words 'fat and sassy' it should also fit her" - chuckled remembering... Angel smiled..."I came from a large family... I think fat and sassy will fitBuffy too.” Joyce laughed. "Be prepared...she's gonna give you hell."

 
     Kara and another nurse came in.  They were moving somewhat hurriedly, they were short in the their speech and they and were checking blood products. Angel frowned. They were hanging more than one unit at a time, which was rarely done... and didn't bode wellfor Buffy. He was trying to avoid looking at the blood... he was so damned hungry and the smell of blood permeating the room was making it hard... Kara spiked the blood products and they ran the three units in at one time through three separate lines... wide open.

     Kara turned to them. "Her blood count has really dropped... dramatically. They fear she is bleeding from the Spleen. We are preparing her for surgery.  They are going to have to remove the spleen... I need you all to leave. Now."

     Angel looked stricken. Kara handed him the consent form and he looked at it as if it was a snake that would bite him. "Sign it Angel..." Joyce told him.  He looked at her fear in his eyes.

     "Didn't Doctor Wilson explain what would need to occur if she started bleeding again?" Kara asked Angel gently. He nodded and signed the consent form and handed it back to Kara. "When does she go to surgery?"

     Kara sighed.  "They are on their way to take her now...." She started to bustle around getting Buffy ready for surgery.  Joyce took a moment to stroke Buffy's forehead... "It's gonna be OK baby.....no big deal......"  She looked up into Angel's face and there washorror in his eyes. "Angel.... She’s gonna be fine."

     Angel kissed her on the forehead. In a voice which never reflected the pain in his eyes. "I know ... We will be here for you baby when you return I promise... I love you Buffy."

     The OR transport team arrived and they quickly and efficiently removed her out of the room and to the Surgery.

     Angel looked at her... she was trying so hard. He finally shook his head no. "No I have to be here...I won't collapse... I really don't need sleep...I can't... I can't leave... it is daylight."

     He smiled wanly at her expression. "Oh...forgot about that part of the deal." Joyce was at a loss.

     Angel shrugs..."Yeah, kinda limits my options...maybe Giles can arrange bring mesomething.."  Joyce agreed with him "All right - I'll go find him and see what he can do... why don't you try and rest here?" She pointed to the now empty room.

     Angel sighed a world-weary sigh and leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.  Joyce stared and looked at him. *Wow, me comforting him...Ain’t that a switch?* She turned as Giles walked in the room and was alarmed to see Buffy gone. Joyce quickly informed him "No - she's in surgery..."Giles frowned. "Surgery? Her spleen started to bleed again?"
     Joyce didn't like the fact that Giles was obviously very upset with the idea. She nodded. "They are going to  remove it this time...I think that's what they said.."

     Giles sat hard in a chair. "Shit, going to surgery... " He drifted off. Angel looked totally freaked.  Joyce realized there was something about Buffy going to surgery that she didn't know.  "What aren't you telling me?"

     Giles looked her in the eye. "It's the DIC, the clotting problem.  She doesn't clot right. She has used up all her clotting factors with the sepsis. They were afraid if they had to take her to surgery she wouldn't survive.... She may not get off the table... She may bleedto death in the surgery.  Doctor thought she had less than a 12% chance surviving if he had to take her to surgery."

     Joyce's heart stopped cold.  A 12% chance of survival if she went to surgery? "They wouldn't take her to surgery if they didn't have to." She tried to tell herself as Giles frowned. "No, it is damned if they do, and damned if the they don't."

     Joyce new they knew all the facts and all the probabilities.  She knew her daughter.  She knew she would survive.  She had two babies to live for and the man of her dreams at her side.  Joyce knew Buffy would live.  She didn't know how she knew... she just knew.
     "Stop it, Giles... she needs us strong... not hysterical...Angel needs to eat and rest... looks like you do to... Angel is resting inside... he can't leave - and he needs food, I elected youto be in charge of obtaining it for him."

     Giles looked at Joyce.  He had always thought she was an obtuse and non observant woman.  Now he realized she saw far more than he ever gave her credit for. "Angel is resting? You actually got him to rest? I am impressed... He has been on the go since two days before the finally battle..." Giles look at Angel leaning back in the chair looking as if he was sleeping.  "I will get him sustenance. God, The smell of blood is probably driving him mad right about now. I will have another watcher bring him some...  supplies."

     Joyce smiled at the man who had meant so much to her daughter and she never even knew.  "When she comes out of this, if she finds the two of you in bad shape, she’s gonna kill me..."

     Giles smiled at the thought of Buffy outraged because he and Angel were tired andhaggard. He looked at Joyce. "Joyce…  I know you blame Angel for a lot of this... but he really didn't cause any of it.. He really has done his best to always protect her... He loves her...  If it wasn't for Angel... she wouldn't be alive today... several times over."

     Joyce looked at him. "It was just the shock of seeing my baby like this...I felt I had to hurt something and he was the most obvious target... I know he loves her... It doesn't make it any easier.... but I know with her out of commission it's my job to take care of the two of you...Don't tell me this right now Giles... don't think I can handle any more today."

     Giles smiled at her. H realized he saw where Buffy gets the attitude "Stress is making me babble, I am sorry” Joyce laughed. "To quote Buffy, switch to Decaf."

     Giles turned toward the phone. "While I am calling for supplies why don't you check on Angel?"  He chuckled at the decaf joke as he dialed Watcher central. Joyce nodded and went back in the room.

     Joyce chuckled  "Sorry... didn't mean to wake you... I was talking to myself about Vampires, how they cry bloodstained tears..." Angel sighed and scrubbed at his eyes to get rid of the tell tale tears. "I wasn't asleep."

     Joyce looked at him.  She looked at the man who loved her daughter and whom herdaughter loved.  She knew you found that kind of love once in your life... if you were lucky.  "You should be...." She puts her hand on his shoulder again.  "She’s going to be fine."  Angel sagged under her touch..."Oh god I hope so," In a harsh whisper.

     Joyce held his shoulder tightly.  "She will be ok, Angel.” He looked up at her. "How can you be so sure? How do you know?" He hung his head.  His fear ate at him like acid and he was too scared to even hope any longer. Terrified they would come through the doorand tell him she was dead...

     Joyce answered him truthfully, knowing it wouldn't help him at all. "Because...I'm her mother.... I carried her inside of me...gave birth to her. I KNOW my baby... And she's not going to give up...especially when she has so much to hang on to. She loves you, and by some miracle she's pregnant. She's not gonna give up! Start listening to me, she doesn'tbut you should." Joyce chuckled quietly at the confused look on Angel's face.  He looked up at her. Is she actually accepting him?

     Giles handed the half-gallon thermos to Angel who smelled blood in the thermos. Heopened the top, and in it found warm, fresh killed-pigs blood, probably fresh from the slaughter house.  Angel looked at Giles, shrugged and in one swift drink, drained the 2 liter thermos and then rinsed it out  in the sink.  Giles stood amazed. Angel nevereven changed. "Thanks, Giles” Giles nodded as he took the empty thermos back. *Is he that far gone he can't even feed? *

     Joyce came back in and sits with a sigh. Angel nodded at her, as did Giles. She looked at Angel "You OK?"  He thought a moment.  "Yes. I am quite OK now" was his quiet reply. "Yeah well, you've got about 10 hours until Daddy comes to see his little girl. Hispregnant and hospitalized little girl. He is *NOT* a happy man.”

     Angel stopped short. "Oh shit! Does he know about the..." Joyce shook her head no. Giles sighed. "Damn.” Joyce snorted. "Yeah, damn. Happy is NOT the word I'd use concerning Hank at this time."

     Angel sighed.  "Any advice beside move to Siberia?" Joyce looked at him.  Did he just crack a joke about Hank, of all things? "Only hope she's awake by the time he gets here. Probably unlikely but we can hope...she's had him wrapped around her little finger since five seconds after she was born. That might be the ONLY thing that saves you. He's her father. Just remember that...I'll try to calm him down when he gets here… But I can'tguarantee any success."

   Angel frowned and raised an eyebrow at Joyce at the image. "I know. I will not hold youresponsible for anything he does to me...oh god. What does he know about us? If the situation was reversed I would be packing a stake."

     Joyce looked shocked. "He doesn't know about THAT yet" Angel had increasing fear this was gong from bad to worse. "What *does* he know about us?"  Joyce swallowed hard. "The quick version?" Angel nodded. "Boyfriend-girlfriend, a little accident, BIG accident, hospital."

     Angel stared at Joyce.  He knew NOTHING?  He knew absolutely nothing?  "I'm dead Giles.  He is going to kill me... how the hell are we going to change that into 245 year old cradle robbing creature of the night boyfriend and Slayer?" Giles just shrugged. Joyce snorted. "I'll leave THAT one up to you and Buffy, but you might want somebody here to hold him back when he finds out...."

     Angel sat in the chair. "Antarctic is looking good right about now...and they have darkness 6 months of the year..." Joyce and Giles just stared at Angel and his feeble attempt at gallows humor. "I wonder if the marines are available?"  Angel wondered out loud.

     Joyce laughed. "Marines may not cut it, he might take you out and beat the crap out of you. But he probably won't."  Angel groaned and slumped in the chair.

     The transport team wheeled Buffy into the room and they were all thrown out into the hall while they wait for her to be settled. Angel stood in a corner as far from the glare of the sun as he could get, wincing in the sunlight reflecting off the windows.  Giles and Joyce tried to block the glare for him.

     Dr. Wilson came over to talk to them  "She did rather well with the surgery. Much better than I had anticipated.  We had problem with bleeding as expected, but the fresh, frozen plasma helped the clotting. If she survives the night she may have a chance. I need to talkto you about code status. If she should have a cardiac event, do you want us to do CPRand give her medication, or to let her go? If we resuscitate her, the babies will probably not make it. I understand you are Roman Catholic [to Angel], is it your wish for us to save the babies if it is at the cost of the mother?"

     Angel stared at the doctor in shock, shaking his head no.  "No. I want her to be a full code. She is the most important.  I want her even if it costs the babies." Dr. Wilson nodded and went to the nurse’s desk to write in the chart. Angel looked like someone had taken Him out to the parking lot and beat him... severely.

     Joyce hugged Angel "They're all gonna make it... they WILL... I KNOW so....They are going to be FINE. Angel you just watch." He nodded mutely. His eyes full of agony as she hugged him tightly "I am praying, Joyce." he dropped his head to her shoulder and sighed  he sighed. "Oh god I hope so.” She hugged him tighter. "Am I a horrible person Joyce for wanting *her*?"

     Joyce heard his distress. "NO Angel without HER... the babies wouldn't survive anyway." Angel just held onto Joyce. "When she first came in, they wanted to sacrifice her for the babies. Make her almost a living incubator. I refused to allow them to do it..."

     Joyce couldn't believe it.  But then remembered she was initially in Romania or Hungary. Their views were different over there. "Good... Angel, you did the right thing" He held onto her tightly. "I am glad you think so... I want the best for her."

     They all went inside and waited at her bedside.

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