Heaven's Slayer

I dream again. I feel his lips under mine as I silence his feeble protests. I almost lost him
tonight and the pain of that possible loss drives me to Carpe Diem... or in this case Carpe
Angel! He submits to my demand for touch and for closeness. He tells me he loves me
and my heart sings!

I  run my nails over his neck and down his chest and he purrs. I don't even think he knows
he purrs.   Vampires have a deep animalistic growl.  From other vampires,  it is a call for
me into battle.  When it erupts from his throat, it makes me melt. Hardly the appropriate
Slayer response to vamipric vocolization! The harnessed power he possesses makes me
wet in the core. When he purrs, which is rare, I am putty in his hand..

He is purring and nuzzling me as I kiss him and run my hands over his chest.  His
muscles are hard and flex beneath his cold skin. In the beginning, his coldness bothered
me.  Now, I am aroused by cold. I can nearly orgasm just eating ice cream....it's
embarrassing!

I had decided earlier that I am not stopping tonight and I am not allowing him to run
away.  I will have him, totally.  I want to feel him inside me in that place no one has ever
gone. I almost lost him tonight... I will not allow another night to go on  without knowing
the full taste of his love.

I run my nails down is back.  His shirt is off and I have full access to his torso.  I lick and
suck on his nipples and he moans in pleasure.  I get bold and I stroke his groin and feel
his hardness through his pants, and he moans deeper. For Me? He moans and before I am
aware of it he has stripped of his pants and he lies in my embrace nude.  I feel his
erection on my thigh as he rolls me on my back and starts to do wonderful things with his
mouth on my breasts.

I am hot and I am wet, and the rain had nothing to do about it... He kisses me and he
strokes me.  I hear his gentle purr as he nuzzles me and licks me. I can't stand it! I pull
him up into a deep kiss.  As he kisses me I feel him remove my pants, and then my
underwear.  His touch is soft and gentle as I feel his fingers stroke me down *there*.  I
want to scream.  I want something but I don't know what, but I have an idea....

He dips a finger inside of me gently, and it comes away moist, slick with my juices.  He
smiles at me and licks the juices off his finger...I quiver.  He towers over me and
positions himself between my legs and looks me in the eye.  I smile in invitation, ever
needing the invitation to enter, my Angel.

I feel his erection at my entrance.  He gently, so softly, inserts himself into me. I can't
believe how good it feels to feel his hard cold cock inside of me! He stops when he can't
seem to go any farther and he looks at me with large eyes. Maybe he didn't realize I was a
virgin? I moan deeply and thrust into him gently, and he thrust through.  I feel a small
tearing pain and then incredible pleasure as he begins thrusting in and out!

It is one long gently passionate experience.  He pleases me in ways I never thought
possible... he chants to me in his purr he loves me.  I come in ways I never have when I
played with myself.

I can feel his tension... he is on the edge and he is not coming...what am I doing wrong?
Then I remember a late night study night Willow and I had in the library,  with Giles'
books and no Giles.  Vampiric sex. He needs to bite and draw blood to come...so I reach
up and grab him by the hair and place his lips to my neck.   "Drink" I whisper into his
ear...

H moans deeply and I feel his face change and he sinks his fangs into my neck and I
explode into pleasure...I feel him draw off me as I feel him pulse deep within me and I
come in a way I never have before...

He is frantically trying to rouse me.  He is scared he hurt me.."Oh that was wonderful!" I
kiss him and sink into his arms totally content...

I wake up alone like I did that next morning... I am alone.  That night of lovemaking and
he had lost his soul.  Now I am without him because I sent him to Hell. He's in Hell and I
am the one Damned.

I moan and roll over and look around at the homeless shelter I am sleeping in.  Who
would have thought it?  Here I am, a seventeen year old Slayer in a homeless shelter.  I
exist day to day praying for an end to this Hell which has become my life.

I get up and gather my things.  The shelter will be closing soon for the day... I will not be
back.  My stomach growls but the long line I know awaits at the Salvation Army food
kitchen isn't worth the wait.  I gather my bags and walk out toward the freeway.  I want
out of town... whatever town this happens to be, I don't even remember.

I stand there with my thumb out.  I turned down rides from the first three guys.  I didn't
like the way they 'felt'. No man has touched me since Angel, and if I have my way,  I will
go to my grave with his hands being the last to touch me.

I can't do it any more.  I left Sunnydale the morning I sent the man I loved more then life
itself to Hell.  I saved the world and destroyed myself in the process.  My mother had
thrown me out of the house when she tried to make me chose her authority over saving
the world and Giles.  My association with Giles got him tortured by Angelus. I endanger
all I come in contact with.  So now I have no contact with anyone.

I have prayed the last six months that some lucky vampire will succeed where so many
failed...to kill me.  But alas, I am to damn good.  I slay them with cool, detached
efficiency. Giles would be proud of me.  I can't look for a quick way out that way.

The average life expectancy for a Slayer is nineteen years.  My Slayer Duty, I will do it,
until I reach eighteen.  I have decided that I will end my existence and allow the next
Slayer to be called on the night of my eighteenth birthday.  I will have lasted a year
without my Angel.  First months without his soul and then I sent him with his soul
restored,  to Hell.  I have lived too long without Angel, first with hope and then the last
six months without hope.  I can't do it any longer... I don't live. I exist.  The knowledge it
is going to be a limited amount of time,  makes it easier to do.

I look up, a cowboy is stopping... and he feels 'ok'... I run up to the window and look into
his eyes.

"Where ya going to little one?" He asks me smiling.  He is a cowboy. Drives a truck and
talks with a southern accent. He feels 'ok'. I tell him I am going "away".  He laughs and he
tells me I can go his way.  He's going into northern Nevada.  I throw my bags into the
back of the truck with his stuff, and climb into the cab. I never really bother to get his
name.  I think of him as "Cowboy".

We drive what seems to be forever.  He stopped trying to talk to me after I wasn't to
communicative with his previous attempts.  My right shoulder aches where I have the
tattoo.  I got a small replica of Angel's tattoo.  A winged cat with a Celtic style A in it's
feet.  Above it is "Angel's girl" in Celtic script.  Unlike Angel's it is colored.  My token of
love to the man I killed and sent to hell. My memorial to him. The pain pleases me.  I
will be dead before it entirely heals... appropriate.  I look out the window at the passing
scenery. There isn't much.  I fall asleep.

I wake up.  I don't know where we are.  I don't even know  what day or month it is.  I
listen to the Garth brooks song playing on the radio... it hurts me so much but it fits to
what happened so much... I can imagine Angel singing it to me. My reality is slipping
and I don't care.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Looking Back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd say goodbye...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How could he have known my way of saying goodby to him would be to send him to
Hell? I would have followed him into Hell willingly if I could have been sure we would
have been together!  But knowing the essence of Hell,  we would have been apart... But I
am in Hell now anyway, without him....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it would end
The way it would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd had to miss the Dance
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I would have missed the best thing that has ever been in my life had I missed him.  I
would have missed the pain but I would have missed the Dance of love with him. I would
have rather loved him and lived to 18 than never have met him and lived to be a hundred
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the King would fall
Hey whose to say
You know, I might have chanced it all
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Would I have chanced it with Angel had I known the way it would end?  I don't have an
answer... my mind says no... my heart says YES...and my soul lies bleeding between the
two of them.

We finally arrive at his Aunts house somewhere in Nevada.  I never care about cities or
anything like that any more.  "We are here" My cowboy savior tells me as we drive up to
a remote farm. The desert night is making me nervous.  My skin crawls and I recognize
the cramping in my womb.  Vampire! What he hell is a vampire doing in the middle of
nowhere?

He knocks on the door and then knocks again.  I have a sinking feeling his Aunt will
never answer the door.  He finally just opens the door and we go in. We find his Aunt's
body in the kitchen, obvious cause of death: vampire bite.  I pull my stake out of my
sleeve, and I start to stalk the killer.  He is nearby, I can feel him.

The vampire attacks as we walk into the living room. He strikes Cowboy and knocks him
around a bit before I intervene.  He is young and foolish, and I am not in a good mood.  I
thrash him quite soundly before I plunge my stake into his heart. Giles would have been
enraged at my "beating him to a bloody pulp" before killing him... but it has gotten into a
habit of late. A way to ease the pain.

My partner stares at me. I guess I blew the Slayer identity, but I don't care anymore.
"Now you know my hobby. I am a Vampire Slayer" I tell him simply..  He accepts my
hobbies.  Amazing how accepting people are when they are met with the insanity of my
reality. Nice touch...except it is probably shock. I don't care anymore.

He calls the police, or in the case of being out in the country, the Sheriff.  They aren't
alarmed at death by vampire bite.  We are instructed to leave the body there, and to go
into town to the catholic church there. This is getting weirder by the minute.

We arrive at the church to see what appears to be a refugee camp. We find out the town
is under siege from vampires, and about 15 people have been known killed so far.  The
authorities know, and are trying to deal with it but are at a loss.

I walk over to where some young teens are making stakes and I stock up.  They don't stop
me until I turn to leave the church.  They are alarmed I want to walk outside.  I look at
them and tell them I can't very well Slay them in here...

I leave the church and I sense a vampire.  I am  in my element.  I am a hunter, killer  and
predator.  It feels so good to hunt to kill.  It is all that I have left.  The teenager Buffy
Summers is gone.  I am The Slayer.

They are arrogant and far to used to easy prey.  I find myself fighting several out in the
open in the town square.  I have an audience from the windows of the church.  I make
short work of them. They are fledglings, which are as usual; young and stupid.

I stand over the dust of the three vampires I killed as the Priest comes up to me. "Your
the Slayer aren't you?" he asks quietly.  I look at him.  I know I should lie and tell
falsehoods but the days of secret identity are over... they know *what* I am not *who* I
am. I nodded 'yes' to him.

I return to the church and I stock up on Stakes.  I go out several  times that night.  The
imaturity of the fledglings make me realize it is probably just one older vampire having
fun.  Sadistic bastard. What they don't have in strength,  they have in numbers... there is
so damn many.

I return to the church right before Dawn.  I am too tired to find their lair.  I need rest and
sleep,  and I lay down realizing I will get neither, as usual. I haven't had good rest or
sleep since I sent Angel to Hell.

The Priest walks over to me "Is there anything I can do for you" He asks me softly.  I
know the answer is no, but I need to talk.  I need to vent the pain in my soul, and this is
the man trained to take it.  I can see why Catholics do confession now.

"I am not Catholic. Father."  I start.  He accepts that I am not of his faith.  "I even don't
have a religion anymore.  I am the Slayer, I have the strength and the ability to fight
demons and vampires, but I have lost my soul in the process."  He just listens to my
words. He doesn't judge.  I take the plunge and continue.

"After becoming the Slayer, I have lost everything.  My friends, my family, my life and
my future, and worst of all the man I love.  I am condemned to fight evil until I die, and
with the usual life expectancy of a Slayer, that isn't long."  Pain for me shows in his eyes.
He doesn't give me fake platitudes. He does what I need him to do, continues to listen.  It
is so good to speak to someone about the pain eating me up inside of me.  Someone I
don't have to try to protect from my pain like I did my others back in Sunnydale

"My Love, he lost his soul.  The demon possessing him opened a portal to cause the
world to be sucked into Hell.  To save the world, and everyone in it I had to send the man
I love into Hell. I could send the body with the demon to Hell easily.  But no, his soul was
returned to him after the portal was opened.  It was too late!  It wasn't that it was his
demon possessed body, but him with his soul returned. To save the world I had to send
him to Hell."  I cry deeply and silently, my tears streak down my face.  "My love is in
Hell, and it was my hand who sent him there!"  I can't stand the pain.

He places a hand on ly shoulder "Child. God will not leave his soul in Hell.  He isn't
made that way.  Take refuge in his soul will go where it needs to go"  I look at him in
anger. What babble bullshit is this?

"I didn't kill him.  I sent him into Hell through a vortex... a magickal portal!  His body is
alive, and he is alive and in Hell.  And your Damned God can follow him for all I care!
What has he done for me?  I fight the evil,  and He takes my love, my soul, my reason for
existing. I have given up and lost everything.  All that is left of me now is a killing
machine without a soul" I sink into my arms.  I don't want to talk anymore.  I want to die.

"If you didn't have a soul, you wouldn't feel pain.  It doesn't matter if you don't believe in
God.  He believes in you. I don't know how I know, but I do.  You will be reunited with
your love.  Don't ask me how, don't ask me when.  But you will"  He stands to walk away
and turns back to me "God Bless you child.  The path you walk is hard.  And will save
the people of this town and others like them."  That's good for them.  Who will save me?

Sunset comes and I awake.  The day's dreams were milder, and pleasant.  Dreams of
loving and kissing Angel. Dreams of our lovemaking, and his telling me he loves me. The
painful parts didn't come, but I hurt just the same.  I go out into the night and I hunt and
kill vampires all night long.

I return to the church tired exhausted and hungry.  I eat some food of some sort  not
knowing or caring what It was, it is a little bit, and no where near enough.The Priest tells
me help is on the way...I look at him blankly. What does he mean? No one can help me.
I have lost all that can help me.  I am alone. Forever Alone.  I go to my spot near the
Altar and fall fitfully asleep.

I relive the death of Angel and sending him into Hell again.  I awake with a scream and
realize I am looking into Willows eyes. "Are you OK Buffy?" She asks softly as I hug her
tightly. I nod, because that is what she needs to see.  No reason to depress her. I'll never
be all right.  Angel is gone.  "The team is all here.  We are here to help you.  I will go get
them" She hugs me and scampers out.  I look at the priest.  He is smiling. Was this what
he meant by help is on the way?

Team? Xander, Willow and Giles.  My team. My mind remembers who I loved best of
the "Team".  Angel.  My guardian Angel.  The man's whose love I reward by sending him
to Hell.  Pain was  so palpable I could taste it.

Giles and Xander come up to me and hug me.  Giles is quiet, and understanding is in his
eyes.  he doesn't chastize me for running away for these last months. Xander is accepting.
Seems more worried about my looks than telling me I was a shit for splitting.  Why did I
leave them?  I don't know... I know I had to do it  when I did it. Now I can't even think of
why I left.

"Buffy" I hear my mom's voice and I look up into her eyes. She opens her arms and I hug
her hard.  She just hold me and rocks me and chatters meaningless word into my ear.  I
hear "baby" alot.  She is always so mushy.  I used to hate it...now I crave it.  I missed her.
She tells me that Giles explained it all to her.  She loves me and she wants me to come
home.  I have my life back.....sorta.

I cry, tears flow freely as I tell Giles about what happened in the battle "Oh God Giles,  I
killed him!" I told him around my sobs. The people who were around us listened to my
every word. I guess for them this was a legendary Slayer... not often you get to
experience the lives of  legends. They should be grateful they never will experience it
first hand...it sucks.  "He got his soul back and he didn't know what was happening, - and
I killed him!"  I looked at Willow who had tears running down her face. "I had no choice,
the vortex to Hell was open and the whole world would have been sucked into Hell!"
The people around us stared.  Disbelief on their faces. The world was at the verge of
ending and they never knew it!  "It wasn't that demon bastard... him I could have killed
easily... It was Angel, Giles... He didn't know what happened, but he told me loved
me...and then I sent him into hell to close the vortex!" I broke down crying and I sank
into Gile's arms and cried.  He held me tight and kept saying over and over again "I
know".  How the hell did he already know?

"Buffy" I hear a voice I couldn't recognize.  It was harsh and sounded like the man had
been crying. "You did what you had to do.  You had no choice.  It wasn't your fault!"
I am enraged.  Who is this son of a bitch who has the audacity to tell me how I should
and shouldn't feel?

"Like hell it wasn't  my fault he.." I  stopped and just stared in disbelief..."Angel?" He was
in front of me.  Still in the same clothes he wore that day.  I knew they were, they were
etched into my mind.  I stared at his face... it was Angel!

"ANGEL!" I scream as I launch myself into his embrace.  He holds me tight with an
essence of disbelief. I kiss him and hug him and run my fingers through his hair. I can't
get enough of him...He kisses me deeply. "I thought I lost you!" I tell him over and over.
He tells me over and over he loves me.  For a man who only told me twice he loved me,
he is certainly making up for it!  Everyone is staring at us.  I don't care!

"Excuse me"  Giles was attempting to interrupt us.  Angel glared at him with a look I had
only seen come from Angelus,  and Giles backed up a step.  Unfortunately for our
reunion, Giles can't be stopped when he is on a roll. "Lets get rid of the vampires, so we
can all go home?"  I thought for a minute Angel was going to rip Giles head off, but he
stopped a moment then nodded. I whine when he seems to accept Giles thoughts, and
starts to release me and lowers my feet to the floor.

He's alive and back in my arms.... or as alive as he ever gets. He is out of Hell and back
with me and he loves me!  I have tasted life without him.  I won't, can't live without him.

Angel just knows they are using old mines.  A little study and we know their lair. We
make short work of the remaining vampires that night. They never thought we would
attack them there. Angel has become quite good with the sword that returned from hell
with him.

We returned to the Church about an hour before dawn.  If we hadn't killed them all, it
was highly likely the survivors left town. The town folk were grateful and everyone
wanted to hug and thank us.  It was weird after years of never having anyone know what
we did,  to have a whole town now and be thankful.  Giles looked uncomfortable, Willow
was shy. My mom was feeling weird. Xander loved the attention especially from the girls
as usual.  Angel looked like he was going to jump out of his skin. I think this many
humans around him really bothered him.  He finally mumbled something I couldn't hear
and bolted. Cryptic guy was back...but out of his territory,  so where could he go?

It took us ahile for us to work our way outside. It seemed a lifetime before I could get
outside.  I saw the limousine where I knew Angel was. Anticipation was wetting my
appetite.  It would be a long drive home... and I was terribly tired.

I climbed into the back of the limousine.  Angel was huddled in the corner.  He seemed
as much afraid of the people as the sun. I immediately went over to him and he looked at
me with his big brown eyes.  He seemed he wanted to hide. I immediately hugged him.  I
could feel his fear. I know he is feeling guilty over the actions Angelus did. I know he is
going to punish himself longer than I will ever live.

He feels so good. His skin is cool, almost cold to the touch. His muscles ripple under the
cold skin and I feel myself melt. I slide my hands under his shirt as I lay my head on his
chest and snuggle closer to him.  He is home and I am content. I glance briefly at my
mother. She has never seen me even hug or hold hands with a guy. Now, I am all but
making love to Angel in front of her. I really don't care.   She smiles at me as Angel puts
his hands around my shoulder and pulls me tight. I hope she approves....

I wake up and it is night.  I had fallen asleep in his arms and had the first good night sleep
I had since the night he lost his soul so long ago. I feel rested but restless.  I look around,
he is gone! Panic fills me.  I know he was just a dream...wishful thinking.... I look around
in rising fear.

"He's driving" Mom tells me. I relaxe and smile at her. "You love him very much don't
you?" She asks me.  I nod and smile.  "I can tell you know.  I am not sure I totally accept
my baby loving a vampire, but I can tell it is useless to argue"  I stare at her in shock.
Who is this pod person who replaced my mother?  I smile though, she is doing well and I
don't want to disturb her.

"Will you come home?" Mom asks me.  I look at her.  I love my mom,  but I have tasted
freedom and I crave it. She wants her little girl back.  I need my freedom to be what I am,
The Slayer.  I watch her,  and know her knowing and watching me go to my hunting
every night will destroy her.

"No mom.  I will not be moving back home" I see the pain in her eyes.  Her baby girl is
gone.  "I will move back to Sunnydale.  I will see you often.  But I am not moving home."
I hadn't talked with Angel but the rest just came out. "I'm going to live with Angel"
Everyone stares at me shocked.  Xander starts to sputter and Willow elbows him.  I'm
surprised she hasn't broken ribs.

"Mom, you know I am the Slayer." I tell her softly. "It will eat you up watching me going
out  to Slay, wondering if I will ever come home. You will be endangered by anyone who
finds out my identity,  if I live with you."  I could see she agreed but didn't like what she
knew was coming. "NO. I am not moving home.  I will live with Angel."  I cut her
argument off. "I will live with him for several reasons.  First, and most importantly,
because I love him.  I have been separated from him since my birthday, and I will not do
it any longer.  Second because it will be safer for him and me."  I know this hurts my
mom and I know the others don't like it much either, but I don't care. I see Giles nodding.
He doesn't like it,  but he accepts.  Now if Angel accepts as easily.

I need to be with him. I knock on the window,  and make Angel pull over so I can go up
front.  I can't stand to be separated from him. He pulls over and then I climb into the front
seat he tells me he wants me to rest.  I agree. I have to be with him though. I will rest
only with him present.

I lay on the front seat and place my head on this lap.  I know how this must look to any
truckers driving by, and I don't care. I need to feel him.  I need the physical contact as
much as I need air.  I need to know while I sleep he is still there. I almost immediately
drift off to sleep.

I wake from an erotic dream of Angel to find my face nuzzling into his lap. His erection
is hard against my face. I feel an answering wetness between my legs.  I want him so
badly it hurts.  I can smell his scent clearly, but it has a new flavor, a hint of sulfur. I
realize that after he got out of Hell, he came immediately and looked for me. He still
smells of Hell.  Surprisingly, I don't care, with it being him, even the sulfur scent is
erotic!

I sit up before I drive us both to distraction. He looks at me.  I see desire and need in his
eyes.  He missed me too. I smile at him and slid under his arm and place my hand on his
thigh.  He relaxes.

"I thought you were a dream"  I start the conversation.  He is going to be hell on
conversation now.  Cryptic guy is back.  "How are you back from Hell?" I ask him softly.
I realized I was stroking his thigh absent mindedly. I can't keep my hands off of him. I am
afraid he will disappear. He doesn't seem to mind my touches, so I continue, except he is
having a problem putting his sentences together. I slow town my touch after I realize my
stroking his leg distracts him. He tells me of Hell and his trip to the Summerland, and
meeting the Goddess Cerridwen, and Jenny.

"I thought I lost you forever!" I cry to him as the tears start. I cry, for the last six months
when I thought he was in Hell, and before that when he had lost his soul.  I cry for the
pain of my betrayal of him. I cry for the fact I had several times almost killed myself, and
would never had gotten him back had I done so.

He grabs me in his embrace with his right arm and crushed me to his chest in an
incredible grip.  I have to wiggle to be released so I can breathe.  "No Buffy, I thought I
lost you forever" He tells me.  I can hear the pain in his voice. If I didn't know better I
would think he was near to crying until I see blood tinged tears welling up in his eyes.
He is crying! "I knew I was in hell.  I knew you would never go to Hell.  I knew I would
never see you for eternity.  I couldn't even wait until you crossed over!"  He hugged me
tight again. "I love you.  I know we have alot to work on and through, but I want you in
my life, permanently."  He looked surprised at his statement.  He spoke before he was
able to censer himself

My heart stopped. Did he just say what I think he said? He wants me in his life
permanently?  What happened to Cryptic Guy who told me,  we could be nothing? He
loves me...

"Are you proposing to me?" I blurt out.  I love the idea, but I can't believe that  he even
wants to make us date, never mind 'permanently'! I lick my lips nervously.  This was the
man who said love between Vampire and Slayer was impossible.  Who has gone  three
weeks and say 10 words to me.  What if I misunderstood him and all he wants to be is
friends? I am hopeful and terrified at the same time.

"Yeah." He says slowly, as if he is just thinking of it himself. "I guess I am." He looks at
me shyly with his cute little boy smile.  "Will you marry me?" He looks scared, like he
thinks I'll say no for some reason. Like right.  I love him.  I want him in my life for as
long as I live.  To Hell with everyone else!

"Yes Angel"  I kiss his hand as I tell him,  before he gets more scared. He stared at me
until I had to remind him to drive.  I snuggled up next to him as we drove along, content
in our love with each other.

~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*

We dropped Willow and Xander off at  their respective houses.  Giles we dropped off at
the library as usual.  My mom wasn't too happy about being dropped off  since I wasn't
moving home with her. Angel was confused as to my plans.  I smiled.  I loved surprising
him.

He hesitantly asked me where I wanted to go.  I told him "Take me home with you
Angel" I stroked my hand up his thigh from the knee to upper thigh. I watched him
swallow hard. He is so cute all flustered. In the past he would just run from me if I
flustered him.  "Are you sure about this?" He asks. I  laugh "Yes, I am sure Angel." He
just nodded.

The sun is nearing dawn, and the sky is lightening. Angel is squinting as we drive toward
his apartment.  I worry about him.  I am sure in 240 plus years he knows how to avoid
killing himself in the sun, but it is making him wince.

We drove up to the apartment and he just parks the limousine in a spot and we dash
indoors.  I thought his apartment would have been gone, but it was still there.  He sees
my confusion and he tells me he owns the building.  It would have been there if he
returned in 20 years.  I frowned.  I could have stayed in his apartment had I known.

I walk in and drop my bags. The apartment had been left unchanged, and alone for
almost a year. Dust was everywhere.  The bed was unmade.  I guess Angelus had slept
there after our little fight the day after my birthday.

Angel came up behind me and dropped the rest of my bags. I felt his arms circling around
me. He seemed to need contact as much as me.  I sank into his embrace and sighed.  His
strong arms around me told me I was loved and finally safe.

"Lets take a shower and wash off the gore" He whispers into my ear.  I nodded. I knew I
stank of being on the road and living in shelters.  I smelled frightful,  and he smells of
Hellfire and brimstone. I guess he needed to clean up from his trip to and from Hell as
much as I needed to clean up from living on the streets. What a pair.

We started to walk toward the bathroom kicking off our boots,  when I realized it was to
be a group project. I stopped and turned to him and asked "Together?"  The thought of
showering with him aroused and terrified me. I wanted to be sure that was what he was
thinking.

"Unless you don't want to.  I thought it would be fun" He looked at me through his lashes.
He seemed unsure of himself, like he over stepped some imaginary boundary. Want to? I
wanted to so badly I almost came from the thought of it!.  I grabbed his hand and pulled
him into the bathroom and started to remove my clothes.  My back was to him, I was
feeling a little shy.

"What is this?" He asked me.  I realized he saw my tattoo.  He stroked it softly.  I think he
knew it was only a week or so old. "My memorial for you." I told him softly.  I wanted to
give him a memorial, he saved me and the world by going to hell and no one would ever
know but me.  So, I had the tattoo done. I would be his memorial.  He didn't say anything,
he just turned me toward him and  kissed me.  He slowly moved my shirt sliding his cold
hands over my skin. He dropped my shirt and just looked at me.  I watched him watch me
as he reached around and removed my bra. I felt myself come loose and he smiled.

I watched in surprise as he dropped to one knee and kissed my right breast. Irreverently,
his position recalled the impromptu wedding proposal of the evening.  I smiled
remembering his proposal earlier.  He is doing wonderful things with his cool lips and
mouth to my nipples.  I close my eyes as  I arch into his mouth encouraging his behavior
and he rewards me.  I want more!

I feel his hands at my hips as he grabs a hold of my pants and pulls them down.  I am
aflame with my need for him. I step out of the clothing around my ankles on the floor.  I
stood there a moment, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes.  He was down on one
knee just watching me. I don't want to be watched...I want to be touched!

"My turn....Standup" I tell him and he obeys instantly.  I often forget exactly how tall he
really is.  He so often hunkers forward hiding his true height.  I return the favor.  I slowly
remove his shirt.  It is torn and shredded and smells of hellfire and brimstone.

I run my nails across his skin.  He purrs low in his throat!  I love his purr. I don't think he
even realizes he does it.  He reminds me of a large cat begging to be petted and stroked.
No house kitty is this.. he is a dangerous wild animal. I love it!. I become more aroused
and I feel the heat and moisture building between my legs.

I smile at him and grab hold of his belt of his leather pants.  Of all Angelus had, I loved
the leather pants.  "I love the leather pants" I tell him breathlessly. He smiles that special
smile and says "Consider it part of my wardrobe then" I  rake my nails over his erection
through the leather pants.  He shudders and moans. I smile

I bend over as I pull the leather pants down off his hips.  They are gorgeous, but
obviously not designed for quick removal. I find myself at eye level  with his penis as it
comes free from the pants. I stop and stare.

I never really got a good look at him the night of my birthday. It's huge! It doesn't look
like how I expected it to look from the pictures I have seen, and from diagrams.  I realize
he is uncircumcised.  I guess they didn't do that in Ireland in the 1700's.  I looked up at
him to see him looking down at me.  "It's so big!" I blurt out, he smiled.

I wanted to taste it. I had read a lot about that,  and here it was at my level. I dropped to
my knees and kissed  the head lightly.  He gasped,  then moaned and purred.  Such a
reaction from such a little touch!  I wonder what he'll do with more?

I took just the tip in my mouth and I licked and sucked on it lightly. He growled back in
his throat and I felt his knees start to buckle. He grabbed my shoulders for support
apparently, and I continued to play with it in my mouth.  I could taste a hint of sulfur,
which I knew wasn't his usual flavor... but I didn't care!

He growled as he pulled me away and up.  I knew he couldn't take it anymore.  I loved
the feeling of power it gave me.  He needs me as much as I need him!  I went willingly to
his embrace and his kiss.  He turned on the shower as he kissed me.  I smiled at him and
stepped into the shower knowing he would follow.

He wet my air in the spray and ran his fingers through my hair, catching in the tangles. I
just stood there thigh to thigh with him as he shampooed my hair.  It was so neat.  I loved
the attention from him.  He repeated the wash to my hair and then put cream rinse in as
he started to wash my body.

His hands were warm from the shower water. He ran them over my arms and up and
down my back. I leaned against him as he scrubbed my back. He pulled me away from
him and them scrubbed my breasts with his soapy hands, he only teased my nipples
alittle.  I wanted more! He scrubbed my abdomen and then went down my legs.  I loved
having him touch me like this, everywhere!

He looked me in the eye as he slid his hand between my legs and scrubbed me clean there
too.  I felt his touch on my outer lips and then as he invaded my inner folds...I moaned in
pleasure, as he rinsed me off.  I wanted to put him inside me right then, but had no idea
how to do it in a shower...

I grabbed the shampoo bottle and pulled him into the shower spray to wet his hair.  He
had his little grin on and I just melted. I shampooed him like he did me.  I could hear his
purr as I ran my fingers through his hair and massaged his scalp. He does so love to be
touched and stroked. I rinsed his hair clean and applied the conditioner.  I then soap up
my hands and start scrubbing him down like he did me.

I start with his chest.  I love his chest.  It is so wide and strong.  The muscles ripple. His
skin is so white and cool and hard he makes me think of a white marble statue.  He just
stands there as I scrub his chest and then back.  I wash under his arms, running my hands
up and down his arms.  I wash his hands, each separately looking at the fingers. His
hands are so expressive.  His head is back, his eyes are closed and he has surrendered
entirely to my touch.  He is mine to touch... anywhere!

I scrub his abdomen and then start working down his thighs.  I know I better clean
everywhere below, before I touch him *there*...or he won't finish the shower!  I scrub his
legs and then his feet.  He lifts the leg I am working on for my easier access.

When he is clean everywhere else I turn him around and wash his butt.  His butt is so
cute. Tight and firm. I enjoy running my hands o ver it and then my nails.  His purr goes
up a notch.  I smile.

I turn him around. He is clean everywhere but *there*. I soap my hands and start with his
scrotum.  His balls are inside and move when I manipulate the sac.  His eyes are closed,
and he moans. I look at his penis.  He is soft, and it is tucked away in it's little sleeve,
"foreskin" my mind tells me from sex ed.  He just stands there as I wash him. I could do
whatever I want.

I want to drive him mad! I rinse him off as I stroke him lightly,  playing and pulling at
him.  As I played with his penis it hardened and grew, peeking it's head out of it's sheath
like it was saying 'hi'.   For a man who doesn't breath, he was making a hell of a racket
moaning and purring.  I scooped his scrotum up in my hand. It was soft, slightly furry and
seemed to move on it's own.  The more I played with it the more it moved.

His penis was hard. It's tip poked out of it's sheath and I didn't think it could get any
harder or bigger. It was hard because of what I was doing excited him! I caused this!

I must have teased him too much.  He started growling back in his throat.  It wasn't a
dangerous growl, but an erotic one of a vampire teased beyond his limits....I laughed,
pulled his head down and kissed him deeply.

His response was pure animalistic.  His tongue invaded me as he grabbed me and picked
me up. I felt his erection sliding between my legs and I wrapped my legs around his hips
as his penis entered me. It felt so good to feel it inside of me again!

He was growling and kissing me as his hard erection sank into me with a burst of
pleasure.  I felt him hit a blockage and he pushed through it as I cried out in
pain/pleasure.  I thrust up against him to get him deeper.  I wanted him inside!

I felt the shower wall against my back as he backed me into the wall with a bang. He
pinned me to the wall with his mouth and impaled on his dick.  He then began thrusting
in and out causing a banging sound on the wall in time with our thrusts.

"Angel...Angel" I heard myself moaning as he filled me.  I had his love and his body.  He
possessed me totally.  I was moaning in my pleasure and calling his name over and over
again..

I could feel him coming closer to his own orgasm and I knew what he needed to
complete it. I grabbed his head and brought his mouth to my neck.  I felt him transform
into game face and his fangs brushed my neck sending erotic shivers through me.  I
wanted to be penetrated and claimed by him entirely. I now found his game face totally
erotic now!

I started another orgasm and as I started to come he sank his fangs into my neck.  We
blended.  I could feel his fangs in my neck at the same time as I felt my mouth on the
neck. I could feel the small pull as he sucked while tasting the blood in my mouth as he
drank it.  It was warm and rich and tasted of love and sex. It was the nectar of life. The
nectar of the Gods... no wonder he craved it!  I could feel him deep within me as I felt
myself deep within, as if I was him inside of me. We were one, giver/receiver.  I find
myself screaming our names during our mutual orgasm.

I came into myself held into his arms up against the shower wall. I was exhausted. I
hadn't eaten well in days, and hadn't slept well since I had sent him to hell.  It was all
catching up with me.  I just hung in his arms spent.  Even breathing took more effort than
I had.

I felt him rinsing me off and rinsing the cream rinse out of my hair. He carried me out of
the bathroom in a big fluffy towel.  The room was cold! I started to shiver.  His apartment
was always cold as I remember. I don't think he even uses heat.

He dried me off, placed me on the bed and tucked me in.  I loved the feeling of the warm
towel and the knowledge I was in his bed.  I remembered his proposal to me.  This was
the first time for the rest of my life! He wants to marry me!

I feel him dry off and slid into bed next to me nude.  He is cold to the touch as usual, but
I don't care!  I snuggle up to him and wrap my leg around his as I lay my head on his
chest. I am in the arms of the man I love.  Where I belong.  I will be here as long as I live!

FIN?